in SearcH of..somE...>>>>MoDeration>>>>>>>>>>
..so someday today..remembering those good old times with you besides..invisibly visible ways....
those teary moments..emotions..smiles..the things i took for granted..those dominating judgements...those over protectiveness..the "feel" that i seldom find in me now...
.....really need them back..i crave for them...
..m not comfortable somewhere deep inside with what's really going with my life.."new friends"..
scared that mayb again somewhre sometime i could be left..abondened..cheated...maybe bit more harshly...
the test of destiny can come any moment again..untold..unseen..like silent thunders...
whats inside the minds of people goes i never get to know..i try.....
its just the faith on me..that coz i will nt do anythng wrong so hopefully they too should dwell faith on me..
or pity on my dead broken inside n not play the unjustified so called pranks..
m really old n tired inside..n more experienced...my inside voices i listen n TRY to follow most of the times..
n they yell at me badly to not to move on in wrong directions...but a lonely inside needs companions...
it says that you can be damn happy with your own company..bt my greedy outside says there's no life without friends..
bt dun realise they too cud go wrong..or mayb thats jus some pleaseur comfort bonding....
the bondings i need are the ones which i dont want to be in touch always but just feel happy that "oh..they are there whenever i NEED them"
i had moved on..bt not completely out of that panic mode..m scared to lose those precious moments...for the smiles they give..
i need bit of everythng..but really in MODERATION...to make the base strong..nt by pleasure..bt with bricks of trust..honesty..n support..
"...Addictions MAke Me Uncomfortable..."
"....Lives we have never lived
Hopes we have never realized
Fires we have never lit
Loves we shall never never make again
Sun in the earth sunflower
Bird in the air rain
Eye within eye
daybreak
I hear those strange whispers again...."
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
It Hurts....Only When i Breath..............
Hope life has been good to you
Since you've been gone
I'm doing fine now
I'v finally moved on...
Its not so bad
I'm not that sad...
I'm not surprised
Just how well I survived
I'm over the worst
And I feel so alive...
I cant complain
I'm free again...
It only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks,when its beating
My dreams only die,when I'm dreaming
So I hold back my breath--to forget...
Dont think I'm lying around
Crying at night
Theres no need to worry
I'm really alright...
I try not to look back
As a matter of fact...
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks,when its beating
My dreams only die,when I'm dreaming
So I hold back my breath--to forget...
It hurts...only when I breath................
<<(wishng ya'..a very happy birthday...hope things go amazng ur side..God Bless)...Missing ya'..a lott today....this day's haunting me....... :'(
hoping my end within the dark night of 21november celebrations......
cudn't really wait for 21 dec 2012 fr thngs to end.....
I love u.....
Hope life has been good to you
Since you've been gone
I'm doing fine now
I'v finally moved on...
Its not so bad
I'm not that sad...
I'm not surprised
Just how well I survived
I'm over the worst
And I feel so alive...
I cant complain
I'm free again...
It only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks,when its beating
My dreams only die,when I'm dreaming
So I hold back my breath--to forget...
Dont think I'm lying around
Crying at night
Theres no need to worry
I'm really alright...
I try not to look back
As a matter of fact...
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks,when its beating
My dreams only die,when I'm dreaming
So I hold back my breath--to forget...
It hurts...only when I breath................
<<(wishng ya'..a very happy birthday...hope things go amazng ur side..God Bless)...Missing ya'..a lott today....this day's haunting me....... :'(
hoping my end within the dark night of 21november celebrations......
cudn't really wait for 21 dec 2012 fr thngs to end.....
I love u.....
Monday, November 2, 2009
The heart that dies away...
:'(
When
you were in buoyant spirits,
you smile even at strangers,
you dance in the middle of a road,
you sing in the middle of the crowd,
you know,
there's this heart pounding in excitement for you.
When
your fortitude crumbles,
your faith lost,
your confidence defeated,
your heart shattered,
you know,
there's this heart that still beats for your every existence.
this heart,
distant yet you cant deny the closeness.
feel the pain when you are in pain.
feel the euphoria when you did.
but where is he?
doubts about his existence,
doubts about his feelings,
doubts about his heart.
Questions linger in the mind.
yet, there's no answer.
if only, he's here.
no amount of tears could bring him here.
no intensity of longing could bring him here.
how could it be?
Tears of guilit and regrets drops,
drop by drop,
it tured into a stream like there's no ending.
battered and bruised his heart was,
he still care.
For you.
But, his heart refused to return.
Miserable must have filled his heart.
his stubborness does not give way.
he will forget eveything,
memories and
finally,
every inch of you.
By then,
you will accept fate
and let the heart,
once yours,
once that beats only for you,
once that ache beacuse of you,
to die away.
♥\\♥
facebook groups.
:'(
When
you were in buoyant spirits,
you smile even at strangers,
you dance in the middle of a road,
you sing in the middle of the crowd,
you know,
there's this heart pounding in excitement for you.
When
your fortitude crumbles,
your faith lost,
your confidence defeated,
your heart shattered,
you know,
there's this heart that still beats for your every existence.
this heart,
distant yet you cant deny the closeness.
feel the pain when you are in pain.
feel the euphoria when you did.
but where is he?
doubts about his existence,
doubts about his feelings,
doubts about his heart.
Questions linger in the mind.
yet, there's no answer.
if only, he's here.
no amount of tears could bring him here.
no intensity of longing could bring him here.
how could it be?
Tears of guilit and regrets drops,
drop by drop,
it tured into a stream like there's no ending.
battered and bruised his heart was,
he still care.
For you.
But, his heart refused to return.
Miserable must have filled his heart.
his stubborness does not give way.
he will forget eveything,
memories and
finally,
every inch of you.
By then,
you will accept fate
and let the heart,
once yours,
once that beats only for you,
once that ache beacuse of you,
to die away.
♥\\♥
facebook groups.
...Let's Make A Deal..>>>
You forgive me for liking you too much,
And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.
You forgive me for missing you so,
And I'll forgive you for being so cold.
You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.
You forgive me for playing your games,
And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.
You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
And I'll forgive you for not noticing.
You forgive me for raising you up so high,
And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.
You forgive me for wanting to be with you,
And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.
You forgive me for being so pathetic,
And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.
You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.
You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
And I'll forgive you for crushing them.
Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Do we have a deal?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
♥\\♥
..from --facebook groups..
You forgive me for liking you too much,
And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.
You forgive me for missing you so,
And I'll forgive you for being so cold.
You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.
You forgive me for playing your games,
And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.
You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
And I'll forgive you for not noticing.
You forgive me for raising you up so high,
And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.
You forgive me for wanting to be with you,
And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.
You forgive me for being so pathetic,
And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.
You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.
You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
And I'll forgive you for crushing them.
Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Do we have a deal?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
♥\\♥
..from --facebook groups..
<..cease of trust..>
so..for a lifetime now..
its you with whom i'll share my one-to-one conversations...
for nw u'll b my mirror to look into my own world sometimes..
..for now on u'll b the one who'll preserve all my memories ..
..holding 'em softly like a newly bloomed flower..
..for now on u'll b the one who'll soak all my tears into ur heart..
..for nw on u'll b the one to hold my intense rage towards the world n thn calming down me for the bettr...
...sometimes sharing some passions...
.sometimes the gloomy mushy imaginations...
..u'll b the one to hold me strong fr a while..n sometimes witnessing my sweetest smiles n glowing eyes.. :)
..sometimes bringing some provoking thots in mind..
..so for now on..u r my best friend....my shadow...my dear diary...
'cause u dun excuricate me upto unbearable limits...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so..for a lifetime now..
its you with whom i'll share my one-to-one conversations...
for nw u'll b my mirror to look into my own world sometimes..
..for now on u'll b the one who'll preserve all my memories ..
..holding 'em softly like a newly bloomed flower..
..for now on u'll b the one who'll soak all my tears into ur heart..
..for nw on u'll b the one to hold my intense rage towards the world n thn calming down me for the bettr...
...sometimes sharing some passions...
.sometimes the gloomy mushy imaginations...
..u'll b the one to hold me strong fr a while..n sometimes witnessing my sweetest smiles n glowing eyes.. :)
..sometimes bringing some provoking thots in mind..
..so for now on..u r my best friend....my shadow...my dear diary...
'cause u dun excuricate me upto unbearable limits...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, October 5, 2009
♥...THERE ARE SOMETHINGS GUYS SHOULD ALWAYS DO FOR GIRLS...♥
>>..jus got this while surfng facebook one day..felt good aftr readng so puttng it here...though it takes lott of effort guys to follow it all.. ;))
n its not only for ur girlfriends..bt for every women in your life..ur mothers, sisters, collegues..n every1.. wish u all "gud luck"..!! :D <<
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so, here are some suggestions to encourage guys to be gentlemen. ;)) -----------
2.A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet - whatever her preference is - *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.)
3. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn't limited, to:
"You & Me" by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of "Everything I Do, I Do it for You"
"Collide" by Howie Day
"Out Of My League" by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY "Question" by the Old 97's ..
4. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.
5. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)
6. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.
7. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.
8. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi".
9. Ask her questions about herself.
10. Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/etc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice scents.
11. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.)
12. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one.
13. Kiss her on the forehead.
14.When she's sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can't cook, there's Campbell's soup at hand for you.
15. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you'd better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you're unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it!
16. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points).
17. LOOK IN HER EYES.
18.. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.
19. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.
20. Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...)
21.Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).
22. Don't be too proud to apologize.
23. It's not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you're standing outside her window with night vision goggles.
24. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.
25. If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.
26. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them.
27. Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some".
28. Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]
29. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]
30. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)
31. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it!
35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her.
36.If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do.
37. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.
38. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>..jus got this while surfng facebook one day..felt good aftr readng so puttng it here...though it takes lott of effort guys to follow it all.. ;))
n its not only for ur girlfriends..bt for every women in your life..ur mothers, sisters, collegues..n every1.. wish u all "gud luck"..!! :D <<
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so, here are some suggestions to encourage guys to be gentlemen. ;)) -----------
1. Open doors when possible - whether it be to a building or the passenger car door..
2.A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet - whatever her preference is - *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.)
3. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn't limited, to:
"You & Me" by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of "Everything I Do, I Do it for You"
"Collide" by Howie Day
"Out Of My League" by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY "Question" by the Old 97's ..
4. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.
5. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)
6. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.
7. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.
8. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi".
9. Ask her questions about herself.
10. Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/etc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice scents.
11. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.)
12. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one.
13. Kiss her on the forehead.
14.When she's sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can't cook, there's Campbell's soup at hand for you.
15. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you'd better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you're unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it!
16. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points).
17. LOOK IN HER EYES.
18.. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.
19. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.
20. Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...)
21.Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).
22. Don't be too proud to apologize.
23. It's not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you're standing outside her window with night vision goggles.
24. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.
25. If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.
26. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them.
27. Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some".
28. Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]
29. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]
30. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)
31. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it!
35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her.
36.If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do.
37. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.
38. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Expectations Hurts..
..is this love all about xpectations...koi kisi koi jaisa hai waisa kyu nai accept kar pata...why didnt nyone ever have taught anyone how to do the mind reading..i was no god who cud do it..long distance relations with assurance abt future..bt sab circumstances n situations dont let ny1 lead without suffocating the heart....it takes a lot of effort to maintain the bonding...but without patience how cud...
...arguments n debates...kisi ne sahi se politely baat karna nai sikhaya kya...why being so dominating always...it feels like evrythng is bleedng n cryng insyd wen we wer talkng..d wrds piercing so sharply..
what i never realized before..was the depth of love i hold for u...tabhi itni jaldi bhul gae he's d special sm1 in my lyf..took thngs fr grantd..bt wen i knw wot my faults are n tryng to make thngs fyn y dun ny1 cooperate thoda sa...
thr are thosands of thngs i jus hate abt u now..the way u talk to me now...the way u neglect thngs now...n most--ur attitude...
but still i knw all this is temporary...cz insyd u feel vry alone..n d frustation boils up..
u know wen frst tym i saw u..thn us k baad bhi kafi baar miley...wot made me love u is nothng of ur outsyd appearence..i loved ur inner core..n still....no matter how much u get angry on me dat flame cant be diminished..
i loved ur innocence...d way u showed ur protectiveness towards me..respected ur possessiveness...ur decency...ur enthusiasm..ur purity whch i feel is diminishing thats y i had askd u to plz maintain it...
slowly while learing the true meaning of love ..read..heard..felt..its jus abt giving n giving without expecting....wot i ws doing... dats y i nvr complaint abt expectaions nt gttng fulfilled..i ws patient dat slowly we will learn abt responsibility with tym..seems u nvr needed love...u wantd to hold it tight...its d comfort compatibility n understndng u needed..needed sm1 who's exactly same as u...
...i felt i ws d one who cud fill in d gaps of ur life..wots nt in u is in me..n wots nt in me is in u...can't all dat be bonded n made as one...jus being a bit like soft clay..a bit humble... at least in d matter of relation if not in ur life or career.. .
..bt jb bhi i try to xplain u the thngs my way..the "conversation" turns out to b as "arguments"..
..i will wait fr u fr this lifetym...cz probably in nxt birth i will gt u..mayb thn the stars turn in my favour...
...u knw jb entirely ek dusre pe depend ho jatey hain toh dun knw in sm subconsious mind humein lagney lagta hai we both knw each othr very well ..bt aesa nai hota..with tym chnges hotey rehtey hain thinkng mein....n with tym we stop puttng in d effort jus feelng hum toh jantey hi hain iss bande ko..n frm thr relations gt sore...n i feel aesa hi kuch hua tha btwn us too...thats y samajh nai pa rhe the...par tab reasons dhundhne ki koshish nai kari dat aesa kyu hua...har problm ka solution hota hai..n d solution u found is jus so incredible....bas blame karte rhe har baat ka ek dusre pe...n d day came jb we went so far away...
teri purity..u urslf felt u r losing dat..dat ws smthng cz of whch i "praised" u...bt wen u knw u r losng toh u knw d reason too na..n u can keep it maintained too..its all in ur hand...2yrs mein itna chng thodi hota hai...n wen i think..it feels shayd cz of me all dat happened...it ws me whom u loved..n thn ur heart cudnt bear wen it didnt got d love in the way it expected....n made ur softest part so hard...n hidden frm the world..
i believe..that i can make that barren land colourful again.....bt its ur trust too dats needed...
..it hurts now to see u in such ways...teri batein.... :'(
.wo energy n enthusiasm chali jaeygi aese karega toh...i care for u...
.........I CAN....jus a lil belief u cant dewll on me..?..i promise u will nvr evr have a tear in ur eye or ny pain in ur heart....
..if nt me..trust smthng called love.
..if nt my mind..plz trust my heart... :'(
..is this love all about xpectations...koi kisi koi jaisa hai waisa kyu nai accept kar pata...why didnt nyone ever have taught anyone how to do the mind reading..i was no god who cud do it..long distance relations with assurance abt future..bt sab circumstances n situations dont let ny1 lead without suffocating the heart....it takes a lot of effort to maintain the bonding...but without patience how cud...
...arguments n debates...kisi ne sahi se politely baat karna nai sikhaya kya...why being so dominating always...it feels like evrythng is bleedng n cryng insyd wen we wer talkng..d wrds piercing so sharply..
what i never realized before..was the depth of love i hold for u...tabhi itni jaldi bhul gae he's d special sm1 in my lyf..took thngs fr grantd..bt wen i knw wot my faults are n tryng to make thngs fyn y dun ny1 cooperate thoda sa...
thr are thosands of thngs i jus hate abt u now..the way u talk to me now...the way u neglect thngs now...n most--ur attitude...
but still i knw all this is temporary...cz insyd u feel vry alone..n d frustation boils up..
u know wen frst tym i saw u..thn us k baad bhi kafi baar miley...wot made me love u is nothng of ur outsyd appearence..i loved ur inner core..n still....no matter how much u get angry on me dat flame cant be diminished..
i loved ur innocence...d way u showed ur protectiveness towards me..respected ur possessiveness...ur decency...ur enthusiasm..ur purity whch i feel is diminishing thats y i had askd u to plz maintain it...
slowly while learing the true meaning of love ..read..heard..felt..its jus abt giving n giving without expecting....wot i ws doing... dats y i nvr complaint abt expectaions nt gttng fulfilled..i ws patient dat slowly we will learn abt responsibility with tym..seems u nvr needed love...u wantd to hold it tight...its d comfort compatibility n understndng u needed..needed sm1 who's exactly same as u...
...i felt i ws d one who cud fill in d gaps of ur life..wots nt in u is in me..n wots nt in me is in u...can't all dat be bonded n made as one...jus being a bit like soft clay..a bit humble... at least in d matter of relation if not in ur life or career.. .
..bt jb bhi i try to xplain u the thngs my way..the "conversation" turns out to b as "arguments"..
..i will wait fr u fr this lifetym...cz probably in nxt birth i will gt u..mayb thn the stars turn in my favour...
...u knw jb entirely ek dusre pe depend ho jatey hain toh dun knw in sm subconsious mind humein lagney lagta hai we both knw each othr very well ..bt aesa nai hota..with tym chnges hotey rehtey hain thinkng mein....n with tym we stop puttng in d effort jus feelng hum toh jantey hi hain iss bande ko..n frm thr relations gt sore...n i feel aesa hi kuch hua tha btwn us too...thats y samajh nai pa rhe the...par tab reasons dhundhne ki koshish nai kari dat aesa kyu hua...har problm ka solution hota hai..n d solution u found is jus so incredible....bas blame karte rhe har baat ka ek dusre pe...n d day came jb we went so far away...
teri purity..u urslf felt u r losing dat..dat ws smthng cz of whch i "praised" u...bt wen u knw u r losng toh u knw d reason too na..n u can keep it maintained too..its all in ur hand...2yrs mein itna chng thodi hota hai...n wen i think..it feels shayd cz of me all dat happened...it ws me whom u loved..n thn ur heart cudnt bear wen it didnt got d love in the way it expected....n made ur softest part so hard...n hidden frm the world..
i believe..that i can make that barren land colourful again.....bt its ur trust too dats needed...
..it hurts now to see u in such ways...teri batein.... :'(
.wo energy n enthusiasm chali jaeygi aese karega toh...i care for u...
.........I CAN....jus a lil belief u cant dewll on me..?..i promise u will nvr evr have a tear in ur eye or ny pain in ur heart....
..if nt me..trust smthng called love.
..if nt my mind..plz trust my heart... :'(
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Eterno Dreams ... ♥
Every time i step out of my house..the path leads to follow the dreams..
With the memories we shared rebounds back...
Making me smile , Remembering those naughty deeds, those speed chasing fights...
With every Eterno that comes in view , I always try to feel its you..
But All the times the imaginations fail...
A miracle had happened just one day..the unexpectedly hurried chase towards destinations..u came into view under least of expectations...
Perplexed by the sudden rush of thoughts...
was it a dream going or a real plot...
The smile was hidden somewhere very deep inside which forgot to instantly appear out..
It was a shock ...an enthusiasm..or a mockery on me by my destiny at large...
My Eterno Dreams were blurring as the moments passed...
Unknown of the tears rolling out...
unknown of the smiley curve growing loud...
i loved n treasured those seconds that made me save the day for keeping in memories so far...
Refreshing the moments we had with "our buddy" in those tiny hours..
That first time holding hands sitting on its back..
adjustments of rear view mirror to see someone smiling far..
speedy rides togther..
cleaning of the windy tears...
clutchng u tightly from the back..
saving the moment for sparking the memory frames in the dark..
With evry Eterno I try to feel its you...
With evry Eterno I pray hard again for that miracle to come true....♥
{>saw him one day(31/8/09) while going to college..n he was going to see his dad at the hospital<}
15/09/09
I Love U...
Every time i step out of my house..the path leads to follow the dreams..
With the memories we shared rebounds back...
Making me smile , Remembering those naughty deeds, those speed chasing fights...
With every Eterno that comes in view , I always try to feel its you..
But All the times the imaginations fail...
A miracle had happened just one day..the unexpectedly hurried chase towards destinations..u came into view under least of expectations...
Perplexed by the sudden rush of thoughts...
was it a dream going or a real plot...
The smile was hidden somewhere very deep inside which forgot to instantly appear out..
It was a shock ...an enthusiasm..or a mockery on me by my destiny at large...
My Eterno Dreams were blurring as the moments passed...
Unknown of the tears rolling out...
unknown of the smiley curve growing loud...
i loved n treasured those seconds that made me save the day for keeping in memories so far...
Refreshing the moments we had with "our buddy" in those tiny hours..
That first time holding hands sitting on its back..
adjustments of rear view mirror to see someone smiling far..
speedy rides togther..
cleaning of the windy tears...
clutchng u tightly from the back..
saving the moment for sparking the memory frames in the dark..
With evry Eterno I try to feel its you...
With evry Eterno I pray hard again for that miracle to come true....♥
{>saw him one day(31/8/09) while going to college..n he was going to see his dad at the hospital<}
15/09/09
I Love U...
kuch yadoon k daaman nanhi hatheliyon mein sametey toh hain..
par darr lagta hai unse roo-ba-roo honey mein...
darr tha kabhi un yadoon ko bhool janey ka,
par ab ummeedoon ne bhi sath chod diya..
nam aankon se duniya dekhi hai..
har sahkhs mein uski parchae dhundhi hai..
par kab kisi ne ess ruh k andar jhankney ki koshish kari hai...
En nam gaaloon pe ab sirf hawa k jhonkey mehsus kiye hain...siskiyon k sath saanson k thamney ki khwaish ki hai...
Na shikayat thi koi..na shikayta hai koi..
wo sambhawnayen hi aesi thi koi..
es bebasi k kinare pe ek kashti ka intezaar hai..
jin rastoon pe muskura kar agey sath badna tha..ab akele ek ek kadam pe kadmon ko ladkhadatey dekha hai...
Darr lagta haiun nazdikiyon, rishton, vishwaas k bandhnoon se...
na janey kab kisi ki mansha badal jaye...na janey kab koi paraya ho jaye..
Un mann k darwazon ko yun band kiya hai, k berukhi ko apna naam diya hai...
Har ek muskurahat k baad kuch dwand sa saamney aata hai...
jo haq kho diya wo wapas kyun apna ehsaas dilata hai?
Un aansuon k sath bikhartey dhundhley sapnon mein ab bhi koi apna sa nazar aata hai...
14/9/2009
I Love U...
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Happy Birthday…
..to d gurl..who broke Me..my trust…
..on whom I pity d most cz of her “sad sob unexpected””exceptional””life”<<..as she herself defines it that ways..>>
..completely unknown to me….bt who had made such a drastic effect on my life…(n m as always trying being optimistic)…d gurl who had made me think..to an extent I cud nvr had believed I cud..who unknowingly taught me that world is all cold n cruel..may not be her “intentions”..bt her every “action” did things dat ways….
…d only gurl fr whom I jus always used to forgt all my possessiveness fr my love…whom I trusted as he did on me…bt haah..those bigg stones wer thrown on my trust…n terrible reasons provided thn….i cud hv easily made my heart believe that he’s nt in my destiny..he’s nt mine…IF ONLY its nt fr THIS gurl I wud hav been cheated on…whom I trusted as much as to him…
even smtimes my deep subconscious mind didn’t allowed to faith anyone…I did trusted against will..drowned in her tears…rather thn my own heart’s pain…..
..though her intentions wer clean as they wer presented...bt smwhr insyd I ws always insecure bt nvr let distrust of any kind surface…bt see hw true it ws…paying fr nt believing myslf...
D pain of losing him jus in front of my eyes evn wen I cud hv done smthng…
My simple love….
Only if I knew dat permanent is nothing…
Only if I wudnt b so innocent n thinking purly abt d frndshp’s btwn thm which ws turning into smthng else….haah..d “besti’s”…..blaming on my mentality..ohh..hw gr8 is urs thn nw..??..
how cud d life played so big tactics against me…
Wot the hell wrong I did wid this gurl dat I ws being left so severly broken deep insyd, frevr…
I wasn’t d gf of any of her bf…I wasn’t involved wid ny of her bf as she ws wid mine..wot if I had been in her place n did xactly wot she did to me..….i bet she’d nvr hav forgiven me…
A girl whose life I wonder…she says its full of exceptions…
….since her school time I nvr heard she havng any good female frnd….I nvr saw any gurl that ways evr…
thn making my best relation as her’s…..d gurl who once seemingly cursed me by sayng dat “she see’s her past in my future..”-n dat happened…dats wot she xactly DID…
D girl who didn’t even let his purity stay with him…which I promised him smday dat he shudn’t lose it at any cost…bt pomises are always broken..
…my rosy colored simple life made complicated by sm1 so unknown to me…
…bt thn too I thank her………….
Thank her -------------------------------
*…to make me knw dat trust is easily broken…actually meant to be if its purely blind..…
*…to make me THINK……..severly….till all nerves of d brain begins to ache terribly..
*To make me realize that memories cant b lost..
*To make me understand the reality of distances …
*To make me see the real weaknesses hidden in me…
*….to make me explore the real me…n my horizons…
*…dat I really CAN smtym n learning to do smthng impossibly tough --to forgive n forget.…
*…dat most of the times..though how much severely hurt by sm1 I still cannot see the negatives…
*…dat now I realize that love’s d oxygen for me..though m unconscious abt its presence bt I constantly need it once m out in d world…(being on life saving ventilator now…)
*..dat I don’t hide behind reasons..ever…wots truth m comfortable in showing dat…n fr me no amount of reasoning n analysis cud chng d truth..!!
****..dat I learnt , for me love is not about fulfilling EXPECTATIONS..its about discovering n knowing each other bttr wid tym..being more of an observant....though xpectations comes..bt in my case I try to keep thm invisible..its about giving…..n asking not demanding..…
…giving d simplest thng…(n hey..nt d gifts n all dat stuff)..invisible abundance care,support…n everything personalized… n also m nt of d view of encroaching the personal space n freedom in one’s life …Its nt abt being wid d feel of “being around wid him 24*7”..bt most importantly wen needed…n feel dat silence is purest in between wen its filled wid nothng else bt love….distances do increase love..bt only if cellphones let dat happen.. fr dat I hate owing a phone… :x
*..dat I hav discovered that one shud strive to b perfectly dual(practical n
emotional)..at a same time…!!...rare trait to possess though… B-)
* I learnt dat addictions make me uncomfortable…
.*.dat no matter how much anger boils in me..i CAN present myself calm in front of d world…I learnt to act..n hide..!! ..n to let d anger go off my mind n soul…n let the thngs flow wid situations..
*…dat before him I was alone…thn once I thought its “destiny”…thn I ws “scared” being alone……..thn loved to b lost in d crowd wen my tears roll out…nw feel its really d destiny wot makes me complete in my own company….solitude is smthng I SHOULD love nw…big paradoxes playng around me..!!
*lastly to make me realize how much I love my love………n will always n always n always do….n more thn any1 cud ever…….
Charity pay’s for ur soul..…n this is wot I did…letting my life go free...mayb she need sm love more thn me…cz I dun want her to cry fr him…cz I knw n learning too to spread smiles……….
--------------------Ab agar tum mile toh..itna yakeen hai…hans dengey hum toh..rona nahin hai…..
.............................Before u met me, u were sad, i was happy, then i gave u my smile , and took away ur sadness,
and now i m going away forever, will take ur sadness and hide it in some part of my life and u will never feel that the smile up there is not yours.. its MINE..
..to d gurl..who broke Me..my trust…
..on whom I pity d most cz of her “sad sob unexpected””exceptional””life”<<..as she herself defines it that ways..>>
..completely unknown to me….bt who had made such a drastic effect on my life…(n m as always trying being optimistic)…d gurl who had made me think..to an extent I cud nvr had believed I cud..who unknowingly taught me that world is all cold n cruel..may not be her “intentions”..bt her every “action” did things dat ways….
…d only gurl fr whom I jus always used to forgt all my possessiveness fr my love…whom I trusted as he did on me…bt haah..those bigg stones wer thrown on my trust…n terrible reasons provided thn….i cud hv easily made my heart believe that he’s nt in my destiny..he’s nt mine…IF ONLY its nt fr THIS gurl I wud hav been cheated on…whom I trusted as much as to him…
even smtimes my deep subconscious mind didn’t allowed to faith anyone…I did trusted against will..drowned in her tears…rather thn my own heart’s pain…..
..though her intentions wer clean as they wer presented...bt smwhr insyd I ws always insecure bt nvr let distrust of any kind surface…bt see hw true it ws…paying fr nt believing myslf...
D pain of losing him jus in front of my eyes evn wen I cud hv done smthng…
My simple love….
Only if I knew dat permanent is nothing…
Only if I wudnt b so innocent n thinking purly abt d frndshp’s btwn thm which ws turning into smthng else….haah..d “besti’s”…..blaming on my mentality..ohh..hw gr8 is urs thn nw..??..
how cud d life played so big tactics against me…
Wot the hell wrong I did wid this gurl dat I ws being left so severly broken deep insyd, frevr…
I wasn’t d gf of any of her bf…I wasn’t involved wid ny of her bf as she ws wid mine..wot if I had been in her place n did xactly wot she did to me..….i bet she’d nvr hav forgiven me…
A girl whose life I wonder…she says its full of exceptions…
….since her school time I nvr heard she havng any good female frnd….I nvr saw any gurl that ways evr…
thn making my best relation as her’s…..d gurl who once seemingly cursed me by sayng dat “she see’s her past in my future..”-n dat happened…dats wot she xactly DID…
D girl who didn’t even let his purity stay with him…which I promised him smday dat he shudn’t lose it at any cost…bt pomises are always broken..
…my rosy colored simple life made complicated by sm1 so unknown to me…
…bt thn too I thank her………….
Thank her -------------------------------
*…to make me knw dat trust is easily broken…actually meant to be if its purely blind..…
*…to make me THINK……..severly….till all nerves of d brain begins to ache terribly..
*To make me realize that memories cant b lost..
*To make me understand the reality of distances …
*To make me see the real weaknesses hidden in me…
*….to make me explore the real me…n my horizons…
*…dat I really CAN smtym n learning to do smthng impossibly tough --to forgive n forget.…
*…dat most of the times..though how much severely hurt by sm1 I still cannot see the negatives…
*…dat now I realize that love’s d oxygen for me..though m unconscious abt its presence bt I constantly need it once m out in d world…(being on life saving ventilator now…)
*..dat I don’t hide behind reasons..ever…wots truth m comfortable in showing dat…n fr me no amount of reasoning n analysis cud chng d truth..!!
****..dat I learnt , for me love is not about fulfilling EXPECTATIONS..its about discovering n knowing each other bttr wid tym..being more of an observant....though xpectations comes..bt in my case I try to keep thm invisible..its about giving…..n asking not demanding..…
…giving d simplest thng…(n hey..nt d gifts n all dat stuff)..invisible abundance care,support…n everything personalized… n also m nt of d view of encroaching the personal space n freedom in one’s life …Its nt abt being wid d feel of “being around wid him 24*7”..bt most importantly wen needed…n feel dat silence is purest in between wen its filled wid nothng else bt love….distances do increase love..bt only if cellphones let dat happen.. fr dat I hate owing a phone… :x
*..dat I hav discovered that one shud strive to b perfectly dual(practical n
emotional)..at a same time…!!...rare trait to possess though… B-)
* I learnt dat addictions make me uncomfortable…
.*.dat no matter how much anger boils in me..i CAN present myself calm in front of d world…I learnt to act..n hide..!! ..n to let d anger go off my mind n soul…n let the thngs flow wid situations..
*…dat before him I was alone…thn once I thought its “destiny”…thn I ws “scared” being alone……..thn loved to b lost in d crowd wen my tears roll out…nw feel its really d destiny wot makes me complete in my own company….solitude is smthng I SHOULD love nw…big paradoxes playng around me..!!
*lastly to make me realize how much I love my love………n will always n always n always do….n more thn any1 cud ever…….
Charity pay’s for ur soul..…n this is wot I did…letting my life go free...mayb she need sm love more thn me…cz I dun want her to cry fr him…cz I knw n learning too to spread smiles……….
--------------------Ab agar tum mile toh..itna yakeen hai…hans dengey hum toh..rona nahin hai…..
.............................Before u met me, u were sad, i was happy, then i gave u my smile , and took away ur sadness,
and now i m going away forever, will take ur sadness and hide it in some part of my life and u will never feel that the smile up there is not yours.. its MINE..
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
.....yet another teary time...completed reading “message in a bottle” ....Garette..Theresa..Cathrine.....though a story..bt powerful enough to make eyes wet wid every page I read...fr me indeed more overwhelming, cz it make me remembr all dat happened wid me......to re-live all those moments again...to feel all that again …slowly tym is making me slip off my hands...i tightly cling all dat bt thn too d memory is fading.....whenever i remember i can feel him near...though hav to try hard nw..bt i CAN..cz his presence is preserved deep insyd me...i cn feel his hands on my cheek...those hugs n d way he use to put a hand on my head.....
..no amount of analysis can change the truth wot really is…dat I love him..still…d same…n more thn I did ever…
He ws so much simple wen we met 2yrs back..thn dun knw frm whr all d complexities dwelled in d lives…though they wer bt nt so much loudly talked about….
It ws not his looks or anything that made me love him..its some strange raw purity in him that I felt…which eventually is fading..n fading..
..it ws a big time we wer togther..n nvr discussed the real important thngs..dat y d distances ruining the bonding….it ws becoming tough to nt being around nw…bt nvr talked abt finding any solution..waited fr future n present got so much distorted…shayd dats being d side effects of being unxperinced abt big thngs in life…
Growing together brings the best in any relation…which none of us understood…cz we wer nt together in real sense..imaginations cant help always..
…sm lil basic naturally occurring thngs..creates big magical effects…d face to face conversations…smiling at teach othr..laughing out loud together…sitting silently…noticing the reaction wen smthng suddenly happens...in real way Understanding each other that comes naturally nt really explaining each thng…cz v really dun knw ourselves d way other person can.........
I missed all dat in my life...n nw in my memories too....
…nw..I fear having close proximities n relations wid anyone...fear getting hurt again..modifying myself to not to seek any bondings ever cz in d end evry1 leaves leaving u terribly puzzled in between thousands of reasons..n oceans of tears..cz NOW I really realized dat ‘being alone’ is destined for ME.. ..its not only the breaths we get that are counted…but now I realize its also d tears..no matter how hard u try to escape or stop the feeling..they do make thr way out…
…in times of his trouble every moment i try to b near him..(though cud b only imaginatively)….to make him positive wenevr thngs go wrong...to make him realize dat God's always a saviour n nuthng cud happen to his dad n soon d sufferings will b ovr...wenevr i hear dat tired voice i feel lyk keepng his head in my lap n giv him nice masage n make him sleep losing all his tensions...to hug him tightly wen tears jus tend to drop frm his eyes while fighting frm situations n being strong fr evry1..….bt not being able to b fr himself….losing his cool at tyms…
… to let all the tears flow by, smtym ,if really needed without him being shying away n hiding them from anyone...
..jus want to brk off frm d situations n make evrythng as before….an impossible kinda thought..to break icy wall whch cud only b melted...
……..the unfair thing about d whole situation is that i still miss him sometimes, or rather,
always the good parts about him..
“......in a world that i seldom understand, there are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them, sometimes they gust with d fury of a hurricane, sometimes they barely fan one's cheek. But the winds cannot be denied, Bringing, as they often do, a future that is impossible to ignore.....”
......................The emptiness is killing me slowly as i wipe the tears that fall from my eyes,I realize u're really gone.My heart breaks as it crumbles to the floor,I drop to my knees unaware of what to do. I close my eyes and picture you,I see your face,your smile.I feel your arms around me holding me tightly,so tightly I can't breath,I gasp for air.All alone, scared....Thats how I feel without you..
I Love U..
Saturday, July 11, 2009
SIMPLE THNGS MAKE ME HAPPY...!!
..happiness..thats wot fr whch v wrk fr whole f our lyf..to truly knw its meaning
..to feel contented deeply..satisfied wid the way of our living..
n wrkng towards enhancng it..!!
...fr some happiness comes while being wid thr family..frr sm wid frnds..fr sm wid wrk..fr sm wid money..
Actually it constitutes lots n lots of exploratin n discoveriesto really knw wot makes us happy n thn wrkng towrds it..
n hence we evolve frm EXISTING to LIVING beings..n wen v r happy thn only cn make ppl around us happy..cz its infectious..!!
..aese hi smtyms thinkng abt it i thot y nt try to tickle my mind n find wot makes me gt that divine feel..
..jus sm tid bit thngs randomly came across frm past experinces..imaginations etc...
~..smtyms seeing a cute baby smiling, giggling n playng wid me..!! ;)
~..wtchng rain..feelng it..n smtyms gttng drenched too if its a VRY heavy downpour..!!..or havng a nice elichi tea
sittng in verandha..alone..enjoyng the company of rain..!!
~..talkng to my frndz..(SMTYMS)..i jus really MISS face to face conversations..to read smones expressions..
to c d beautiful smiling faces..bt sab achchey ppl had lft me.. :( wid jus
d memories of the past i hold ..to make my eyes wet n smile.. :')
~..reminicing the school days..sittng beneath the mango tree..physics lab mein window seat pe baith k thandi hawa khana..
hanging out in school aftr it gts ovr n njoyng the swings whch wer meant fr small kids.. :D cycling in the school
ground whch wasnt allowed..takng a sneek peek to d church...sharng lunch boxes...those birthday toffees..
yawning,chattrng,disturbing..bt nvr studyng in class..prayng dat teacher may gt absent wen homewrk nt done..
xcitement on seeng d substitution teacher..standng in queue fr drinkng chilled water..n many many more such events... :')
~..reminicing my childhood with bhai..those cycle rides..eatng ice cream togthr school k bahar..being
proud of him wen he scores so well..njoyng the dishes in parties togthr tastng each thng...enjoyng each ride in fun parks..
..studyng wid him..planning fr ma pa's bday etc.togthr..those maar petaae..silly fights..stealng each othrs stationary thngs..
..scribblng in each othrs notebooks..cheedana..cherna..chillana.. :D giving each other silliest nick names..
sharing n keepng secrets..surprising on bday's..giving each othr stylng tips.. ;) excitement of ghumney jana in vacations...
train mein upar baithna..fighting fr window seat..n soooo many more thngs.... ;')
~..writng down or bloggng whatever comes to my mind at any moment..anywhr..(even scribblng on my clothes).....
be it a happy thot..ya kisi pe gussa nikalna..or smthng sad..jus nythng..n thn smtyms throwng away or keepng fr future..
..nwadays smtyms talkng to 'him' thru dat maroon diary..feelng as if usse baat karli..sb kuch jo mann mei tha..keh diya..
cz wohi toh tha jo sb kuch sunta tha..nai bhi sunta tha tb bhi keh hi deti thi mein.. ;)..
jus makng my buddhu ♥ feel lyk usne 'us se' baat kar li..!!<<..hopeless addiction..>> :'D
~..those cheatngs smtyms at the last minute in xams..though mujhse nai hoti bilkul..bt wen it feels lyk kuch nai ata..
n paas hona bhi mushkil lag rha ho toh thrs no othr option thn to ask..n un
sab pe bahut gussa bhi ata hai jo internals mein mutual efforts se itne achchey marks le atey hain :'(
~..doin acts of kindness..smtyms..smdays...(hoping mere paap kam ho jayengey thodey aesa karne se.. :D)..though rarely..
kafi din tak dat remains in my mind n brings a spcl smile..wenevr i remebr dat..!!
..lyk last monday jb us nanhi bachchi ko mandir mei prashad wali kheer di..hw cutely she ws eatng wid finger..
..kbhi kisi begger ko paise dena..birds k liye pani bhr k rakhna..stray dogs ko bread khilana..
..bt thr r moments jin k liye i feel damn guilty too..jb wo ek agey wale biker ka phn gir gya n istead of pickng
it up n givng i increasd my speed to go n tell him..hw idiotic..aaj tak i wonder usko phn mila hoga ya nai...
..jb 2 baar meri wajha se..us ek hi point pe accident ho gya tha dusron ka..n mei ruki bhi nai to c if they wer fyn..
gosh..hw heartless....kitni galiyan di hongi un logon ne.. :(
~..smtyms kisi nice lukng stranger se baat karne ka mann karta hai..to smile at him/her..bt i don't..pta nai kya sochengey log..
..as if insane me..bt dats jus natural..sm ppl really catch ur eye among d crowd..mayb smday i'll build d confidence to go up n speak..
mayb i will gt a new frnd.. ;)
~..listening n humming my fav.songs..!!
~..smtyms dancng alone..jus a few steps..lyk rockng in a party..though i had nvr dancd publically...n nvr will..
~..smtyms want to shout out lyk crazies wen m xtremely angry or extremely happy,.lyk drunk ppl...on empty roads..
~..sittng against d wall on d terrace n watchng d stars..n moon..!! ;)
~..doin photography..though m jus an amature bt by editing n fillng sm effects etc. i make those pics.jus amazing smtyms..!! ;)
~..takng out my childhood drawing books n seeng thm again n again..m smiling.."ohh..i had done it..hw beautiful..!!:D"
~..seeing myslf smiling in d mirror..adoring dat dimple on my right cheek..!! ;) (wen i ws small dono pe hota tha..my smile ws smthng ppl demamded to c B-)
..bt my chubbyness ate d lft dimple :| )
~..smtyms wrkng out n feelng vry energetic.. :D
~..smtyms i dream abt..gettng completely DRUNK..n wid frnds strollng late at nyt on lonely roads..shoutng..howlng..laughng
out loud..losng consious..jus being complete mad..!!!!!!!!
..happiness..thats wot fr whch v wrk fr whole f our lyf..to truly knw its meaning
..to feel contented deeply..satisfied wid the way of our living..
n wrkng towards enhancng it..!!
...fr some happiness comes while being wid thr family..frr sm wid frnds..fr sm wid wrk..fr sm wid money..
Actually it constitutes lots n lots of exploratin n discoveriesto really knw wot makes us happy n thn wrkng towrds it..
n hence we evolve frm EXISTING to LIVING beings..n wen v r happy thn only cn make ppl around us happy..cz its infectious..!!
..aese hi smtyms thinkng abt it i thot y nt try to tickle my mind n find wot makes me gt that divine feel..
..jus sm tid bit thngs randomly came across frm past experinces..imaginations etc...
~..smtyms seeing a cute baby smiling, giggling n playng wid me..!! ;)
~..wtchng rain..feelng it..n smtyms gttng drenched too if its a VRY heavy downpour..!!..or havng a nice elichi tea
sittng in verandha..alone..enjoyng the company of rain..!!
~..talkng to my frndz..(SMTYMS)..i jus really MISS face to face conversations..to read smones expressions..
to c d beautiful smiling faces..bt sab achchey ppl had lft me.. :( wid jus
d memories of the past i hold ..to make my eyes wet n smile.. :')
~..reminicing the school days..sittng beneath the mango tree..physics lab mein window seat pe baith k thandi hawa khana..
hanging out in school aftr it gts ovr n njoyng the swings whch wer meant fr small kids.. :D cycling in the school
ground whch wasnt allowed..takng a sneek peek to d church...sharng lunch boxes...those birthday toffees..
yawning,chattrng,disturbing..bt nvr studyng in class..prayng dat teacher may gt absent wen homewrk nt done..
xcitement on seeng d substitution teacher..standng in queue fr drinkng chilled water..n many many more such events... :')
~..reminicing my childhood with bhai..those cycle rides..eatng ice cream togthr school k bahar..being
proud of him wen he scores so well..njoyng the dishes in parties togthr tastng each thng...enjoyng each ride in fun parks..
..studyng wid him..planning fr ma pa's bday etc.togthr..those maar petaae..silly fights..stealng each othrs stationary thngs..
..scribblng in each othrs notebooks..cheedana..cherna..chillana.. :D giving each other silliest nick names..
sharing n keepng secrets..surprising on bday's..giving each othr stylng tips.. ;) excitement of ghumney jana in vacations...
train mein upar baithna..fighting fr window seat..n soooo many more thngs.... ;')
~..writng down or bloggng whatever comes to my mind at any moment..anywhr..(even scribblng on my clothes).....
be it a happy thot..ya kisi pe gussa nikalna..or smthng sad..jus nythng..n thn smtyms throwng away or keepng fr future..
..nwadays smtyms talkng to 'him' thru dat maroon diary..feelng as if usse baat karli..sb kuch jo mann mei tha..keh diya..
cz wohi toh tha jo sb kuch sunta tha..nai bhi sunta tha tb bhi keh hi deti thi mein.. ;)..
jus makng my buddhu ♥ feel lyk usne 'us se' baat kar li..!!<<..hopeless addiction..>> :'D
~..those cheatngs smtyms at the last minute in xams..though mujhse nai hoti bilkul..bt wen it feels lyk kuch nai ata..
n paas hona bhi mushkil lag rha ho toh thrs no othr option thn to ask..n un
sab pe bahut gussa bhi ata hai jo internals mein mutual efforts se itne achchey marks le atey hain :'(
~..doin acts of kindness..smtyms..smdays...(hoping mere paap kam ho jayengey thodey aesa karne se.. :D)..though rarely..
kafi din tak dat remains in my mind n brings a spcl smile..wenevr i remebr dat..!!
..lyk last monday jb us nanhi bachchi ko mandir mei prashad wali kheer di..hw cutely she ws eatng wid finger..
..kbhi kisi begger ko paise dena..birds k liye pani bhr k rakhna..stray dogs ko bread khilana..
..bt thr r moments jin k liye i feel damn guilty too..jb wo ek agey wale biker ka phn gir gya n istead of pickng
it up n givng i increasd my speed to go n tell him..hw idiotic..aaj tak i wonder usko phn mila hoga ya nai...
..jb 2 baar meri wajha se..us ek hi point pe accident ho gya tha dusron ka..n mei ruki bhi nai to c if they wer fyn..
gosh..hw heartless....kitni galiyan di hongi un logon ne.. :(
~..smtyms kisi nice lukng stranger se baat karne ka mann karta hai..to smile at him/her..bt i don't..pta nai kya sochengey log..
..as if insane me..bt dats jus natural..sm ppl really catch ur eye among d crowd..mayb smday i'll build d confidence to go up n speak..
mayb i will gt a new frnd.. ;)
~..listening n humming my fav.songs..!!
~..smtyms dancng alone..jus a few steps..lyk rockng in a party..though i had nvr dancd publically...n nvr will..
~..smtyms want to shout out lyk crazies wen m xtremely angry or extremely happy,.lyk drunk ppl...on empty roads..
~..sittng against d wall on d terrace n watchng d stars..n moon..!! ;)
~..doin photography..though m jus an amature bt by editing n fillng sm effects etc. i make those pics.jus amazing smtyms..!! ;)
~..takng out my childhood drawing books n seeng thm again n again..m smiling.."ohh..i had done it..hw beautiful..!!:D"
~..seeing myslf smiling in d mirror..adoring dat dimple on my right cheek..!! ;) (wen i ws small dono pe hota tha..my smile ws smthng ppl demamded to c B-)
..bt my chubbyness ate d lft dimple :| )
~..smtyms wrkng out n feelng vry energetic.. :D
~..smtyms i dream abt..gettng completely DRUNK..n wid frnds strollng late at nyt on lonely roads..shoutng..howlng..laughng
out loud..losng consious..jus being complete mad..!!!!!!!!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Books...!!
...An addiction to those who love to drown in the pool of imagination...
...fiction...psychology...relations...life...thoughts..character building...traveling..they can help you knw abt jus everythng....
...with each page u turn..an new frame builds up in mind...especially in fictions it goes as if making our own movie...visualizing the colors..people..experiencing the fragrances..climate.......jus redefining and rejoicing the senses overall.....
the books hav the ability to make u smile..laugh...blush...cry...frown..hate..angry......jus takes u to a new world of thr own....
..helps to build our character..makes us wise..teaches n helps us learn frm the experiences of other ppl....to develop empathy n humbleness...
...motivates us towards the rainbows of positivity...to touch the horizons of our lyf.....
..its the magic of books that can teach the dimensions of relations and feelings...
the great writers whom i read like..Danielle Steel..Nicholas Sparks..Ruskin Bond..Stephenie Meyer..Arundhati Roy...Robin Sharma...Paulo Cohelo...Joel D.Block.....and many more....everyone dwelled with thr own style of writng....with innocence..thrills...love..horror..comedy...tragedy..lessons fr life..what not..?!!.....making a one to one conversation with our deep self, someone whom we jus forget in the rush of life.....
...teaches us to maintain the purity of heart..to feel what the pain is before that occurs in our life....the pain of separation..the pain of distances..the fear of losing someone....even making us grow hope in toughest situations..and are able to turn towards the happiest endings...recallng back the smile on our face...n forces us think for hours aftr it gt ovr...making us develop a lateral thinking..to judge..to recreate...to polish our own jewels of thoughts..!! ;)
...but too much of fiction jus hampers our feelngs...cz life is not abt "happy endings"...what we think rarely happens in life...everythng is jus so unpredictable....bt they can make u feel good and satisfied...promotes the feelngs of hope..makes us believe that rare thngs do can happen if we keep faith in that supreme universal power...
..helps us reach the dimensions we nvr explored in ourselves...
..teaches the lessons of feelings in our life..the importance of feelngs of truth, loyalty, compassion, commitment, love, empathy, inspiration,patience, calmness..to keep our inner core suave n serene and connected to God..
.and side effects of hatred, lies, deceptions, cheatng, back stabbing, hurtng smone, selfishness....hw black they can make us insyd..whch we seldom notice in a rush to be the king of the world..
.....many of us grow a bit of hatred feelng towards books as since childhood we are forced to study thm...cram thm up...no matter we like thm or not..we have to for securing marks..fr educating ourselves fr our bttr future........but why not any one ever care abt that with mind heart too needs to grow...thn only the mind can function properly...
gttng the knowledge of subjects in abundance...bt frm whr to learn abt feelngs.....n aftr a while of experincng this world...i hav found no matter how perfect ppl may get in the subjects they study..but no one ever gets perfect when it comes to feelngs....even the grown ups....coz no one ever teaches us that...they are jus left for self development...they grow nicely if ppl are gr8 and lively around and grow like weeds if the hearts around us are that ways..incompassionate..cold..sore..sad..n lifeless..
....no matter hw painful life goes bt we jus nvr try seeing insyd..scared..?!...naah..its jus we have nvr learnt how to tackle the heart...wen thngs go miserably wrong we start thinkng a lot and grow the complexities around us...tryng to figure out the solution...with experinces.....why nt head towards books!!...they may or maynt be helpng bt they surely are able to let the spirits free...to expand the horizons of thinking....to look up to the heights of possibilites....our trysts with LIFE..!!
the books ..very rightly sed as the best friends..!!..they make ourselves our own bestfrnd..!!..they bulid our language skills..vocab..and abundance of knowledge..
..makes us enjoy our own company..to feel the pleasure of solitude...to rightly knw the importance of frnds..to be choosy..and to learn to make the wise choices...and learn us correct the pace of our life..to get out of tough situations...to be helping and sensitive...
..offers unconditonal love..though imaginative...but its bttr thn the kind of world around us whr we live..filled of clever ppl...who cn jus use u in thousands of ways to raise up in thr own life..steal ur ideas..but wen u go to thm evn fr a lil help they have thousand and one ways to make fool of ur feelngs...dats d truth of life...no one is transparent...they hav smthng insyd..n smthng else outsyd....hard to search whr innocence lay in ppl nw...so bttr to head towards imagination..n explore deeper horizons insyd... :)
HAPPY READING..!!
...with each page u turn..an new frame builds up in mind...especially in fictions it goes as if making our own movie...visualizing the colors..people..experiencing the fragrances..climate.......jus redefining and rejoicing the senses overall.....
the books hav the ability to make u smile..laugh...blush...cry...frown..hate..angry......jus takes u to a new world of thr own....
..helps to build our character..makes us wise..teaches n helps us learn frm the experiences of other ppl....to develop empathy n humbleness...
...motivates us towards the rainbows of positivity...to touch the horizons of our lyf.....
..its the magic of books that can teach the dimensions of relations and feelings...
the great writers whom i read like..Danielle Steel..Nicholas Sparks..Ruskin Bond..Stephenie Meyer..Arundhati Roy...Robin Sharma...Paulo Cohelo...Joel D.Block.....and many more....everyone dwelled with thr own style of writng....with innocence..thrills...love..horror..comedy...tragedy..lessons fr life..what not..?!!.....making a one to one conversation with our deep self, someone whom we jus forget in the rush of life.....
...teaches us to maintain the purity of heart..to feel what the pain is before that occurs in our life....the pain of separation..the pain of distances..the fear of losing someone....even making us grow hope in toughest situations..and are able to turn towards the happiest endings...recallng back the smile on our face...n forces us think for hours aftr it gt ovr...making us develop a lateral thinking..to judge..to recreate...to polish our own jewels of thoughts..!! ;)
...but too much of fiction jus hampers our feelngs...cz life is not abt "happy endings"...what we think rarely happens in life...everythng is jus so unpredictable....bt they can make u feel good and satisfied...promotes the feelngs of hope..makes us believe that rare thngs do can happen if we keep faith in that supreme universal power...
..helps us reach the dimensions we nvr explored in ourselves...
..teaches the lessons of feelings in our life..the importance of feelngs of truth, loyalty, compassion, commitment, love, empathy, inspiration,patience, calmness..to keep our inner core suave n serene and connected to God..
.and side effects of hatred, lies, deceptions, cheatng, back stabbing, hurtng smone, selfishness....hw black they can make us insyd..whch we seldom notice in a rush to be the king of the world..
.....many of us grow a bit of hatred feelng towards books as since childhood we are forced to study thm...cram thm up...no matter we like thm or not..we have to for securing marks..fr educating ourselves fr our bttr future........but why not any one ever care abt that with mind heart too needs to grow...thn only the mind can function properly...
gttng the knowledge of subjects in abundance...bt frm whr to learn abt feelngs.....n aftr a while of experincng this world...i hav found no matter how perfect ppl may get in the subjects they study..but no one ever gets perfect when it comes to feelngs....even the grown ups....coz no one ever teaches us that...they are jus left for self development...they grow nicely if ppl are gr8 and lively around and grow like weeds if the hearts around us are that ways..incompassionate..cold..sore..sad..n lifeless..
....no matter hw painful life goes bt we jus nvr try seeing insyd..scared..?!...naah..its jus we have nvr learnt how to tackle the heart...wen thngs go miserably wrong we start thinkng a lot and grow the complexities around us...tryng to figure out the solution...with experinces.....why nt head towards books!!...they may or maynt be helpng bt they surely are able to let the spirits free...to expand the horizons of thinking....to look up to the heights of possibilites....our trysts with LIFE..!!
the books ..very rightly sed as the best friends..!!..they make ourselves our own bestfrnd..!!..they bulid our language skills..vocab..and abundance of knowledge..
..makes us enjoy our own company..to feel the pleasure of solitude...to rightly knw the importance of frnds..to be choosy..and to learn to make the wise choices...and learn us correct the pace of our life..to get out of tough situations...to be helping and sensitive...
..offers unconditonal love..though imaginative...but its bttr thn the kind of world around us whr we live..filled of clever ppl...who cn jus use u in thousands of ways to raise up in thr own life..steal ur ideas..but wen u go to thm evn fr a lil help they have thousand and one ways to make fool of ur feelngs...dats d truth of life...no one is transparent...they hav smthng insyd..n smthng else outsyd....hard to search whr innocence lay in ppl nw...so bttr to head towards imagination..n explore deeper horizons insyd... :)
HAPPY READING..!!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
.........THE NOTEBOOK.........
"our souls were one, if u must know and never shall they be apart; with splendid dawn, ur face glow..i reach for u and find my heart..."
...poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic n common sense. that's what it was like for me..I didn't plan on falling in love with u, and i doubt if u planned on falling in love with me.
but once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beauitful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that's why every minute we spent togther has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it..
...the reason it hurts so much to separate is bcause our souls are connected. mayb they always have been n will be..maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one n in each of them we've found each other.and mayb each tym , we've been forced apart for some reasons..that means that this goodbye is both a good bye for the past thousand years n a prelude to what will come.
When i looked at u, i see ur beauty n grace n knw they hav grown stronger with every life u lived,and i knw i hav spent every life before this one searchng for u.not someone like u, but u, for ur soul and mine must always come togther. and then,for a reason neither of us understands,we've been forced to say goodbye...
i wud luv to tell u that everythng will work out for us, and i promise to do all i can to make sure it does..but if we nvr meet agn n this is truly a goodbye, i knw we will see each other again in another life..we will find each other again, and mayb the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that tym, but for all the times we've had before.....
for once i am all loss of words..it is strange experince for me, for when i think of u and the life we have shared, there is much to remember...a lifetime of memories....
thinking back on our life togther..u r always here with me..at least in my heart...and its impossible for me to remember a time when u were not a part of me.....i am who i am because of u......u r every reason, every hope, and every dream i've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are togther is the greatest day of my life..i will always be urs...and, my darling, u will always be mine....
dusk , is just an illusion, bcoz the sun is either above the horizon or below it...and tht means day n nyt are linked in a way that few thngs are..thr cannot be one without the other...yet they cannot exist at the same time...how wud it feel i wonder...to be always togther, yet forever apart?...
...remember....we use to sit silently and watch the world around us..this takes a lifetime to learn..it seems only the grown ups are able to sit next to one another n not say anythng and still feel content....... silence is pure. silence is holy. it draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking for hours..without breaking its charm..experiencing the soul connection........the great paradox....!!
I Love U...
"our souls were one, if u must know and never shall they be apart; with splendid dawn, ur face glow..i reach for u and find my heart..."
...poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic n common sense. that's what it was like for me..I didn't plan on falling in love with u, and i doubt if u planned on falling in love with me.
but once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beauitful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that's why every minute we spent togther has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it..
...the reason it hurts so much to separate is bcause our souls are connected. mayb they always have been n will be..maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one n in each of them we've found each other.and mayb each tym , we've been forced apart for some reasons..that means that this goodbye is both a good bye for the past thousand years n a prelude to what will come.
When i looked at u, i see ur beauty n grace n knw they hav grown stronger with every life u lived,and i knw i hav spent every life before this one searchng for u.not someone like u, but u, for ur soul and mine must always come togther. and then,for a reason neither of us understands,we've been forced to say goodbye...
i wud luv to tell u that everythng will work out for us, and i promise to do all i can to make sure it does..but if we nvr meet agn n this is truly a goodbye, i knw we will see each other again in another life..we will find each other again, and mayb the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that tym, but for all the times we've had before.....
for once i am all loss of words..it is strange experince for me, for when i think of u and the life we have shared, there is much to remember...a lifetime of memories....
thinking back on our life togther..u r always here with me..at least in my heart...and its impossible for me to remember a time when u were not a part of me.....i am who i am because of u......u r every reason, every hope, and every dream i've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are togther is the greatest day of my life..i will always be urs...and, my darling, u will always be mine....
dusk , is just an illusion, bcoz the sun is either above the horizon or below it...and tht means day n nyt are linked in a way that few thngs are..thr cannot be one without the other...yet they cannot exist at the same time...how wud it feel i wonder...to be always togther, yet forever apart?...
...remember....we use to sit silently and watch the world around us..this takes a lifetime to learn..it seems only the grown ups are able to sit next to one another n not say anythng and still feel content....... silence is pure. silence is holy. it draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking for hours..without breaking its charm..experiencing the soul connection........the great paradox....!!
I Love U...
...those most enthralling monsoons of '07...
...those days spent in messaging...
...the excitement of the 'rockers community'
...those meetings which sparked life in me...
...that "sm1s" smile which reached my eyes for the first time...
...those tears that transformed to pearls by the touch of someone...
...those talks in whispers...
...the silence so soothing...
...holding hands..criss-crossed fingers...
...the warm bear hugs...
...the sweetest kisses...
...the amazing affection...
...the undying passions...
...the loveliest Roses...
...those reveries...
...sharing glories...
...the care and concern in abundance...
...the childishness that was born in me...
...the excitement of seeing him just in front of my eyes...
...the scintillating feelings and goose bumps at the moment he tells --''m coming back...shweetheart..!!" :')
...the insomniac nights...
...that honey filled husky voice...
...those deepest glittering eyes..
...the silly mistakes and fierce fights...
...the time of storms of betrayals and mistrust which weren't able to swallow the love at one time in life...
...the slow transformation from "existing" to "living" being...
...the words of wisdom, inspiration and encouragement...
...that only hope in the darkest of the darkest world...
...the hopefulness of fulfilling aspirations and expectations...
...the discovery mission through the depths of his heart of hearts...
...the depths of immortal unconditional love and the heights of true blind trust...
...the part of God i touched and felt so close once that resided deep within his pure soul--undiscovered, serene,suave...
...the feel of soul connection...
...the phenomenal changes that were awaiting by...
...the innocence of urs which how hard i tried to preserve, but failed..... :"(
♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥
I miss my life
I miss my laugh
I miss my childhood
I miss my mistakes
I miss my anger
I miss my fights
I miss my love :'(
♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥
I Love U...
Saturday, July 4, 2009
WHY...?
Why is it that.....life always changes its questions when we have found the answers to the previous questions?
Why is it that we look for answers whose questions we dont know?
Why is it that answers to even the most obvious questions are so dreadful?
Why is it that we fear answers to certain questions but in heart of hearts we want to know the answers?
Why is it that we fear asking questions to that one person from whom we desperately want an answer?
Why is it that, that one person never realizes that he has to ask "something" n we have to answer "something".why is that when we finally muster up the courage to finally ask "something" .....he says....."I'm a bit busy can we talk later"?
Why is it then day in day out u wait for that one fone call?
Why is it that u r filled with 1 million joules of energy wen that name flashes on the cell phone screen?
Why is it that with every ring, u hope its him,with every msg u hope its his?
Why is it that if the call or msg wasnt his ,u lose 2 million joules of energy?? Why is it that one HI and BYE is more important than another 10 million HI's n BYE's?
Why is it that SHE gives the "answer" to his "questions" the way he wanted?
Why is it that now he could never see the pain,the tears,the feelings,the undying love that u had for him..?
Why is that after the person leaves we realizes his worth in our life and the depth of love for him which was left unspoken..unexpressed.......the preciousness he holds close to our soul?
Why is it that, he-the one who could once read your eyes,could hear you when u didnt open ur mouth, now, can't see ur eyes shouting?
Why is it that at one point of time in life he cant understand ur silence?
Why is it that you r happy within ur heart to see him happy with HER? Why is it u have such a big heart that u can see HIM with HER n being happy about THEM?
Why is it that he doesnt realize your eyes drifting away from his when he talks about "HER"?Why is it that he cant make out your fake smile when he talks about HER?
Why is it that u hav such a big heart and always get THEM together......immaterial of the heartache u go through??
Why is it after a big fight for begging n shouting for love, trust, understanding you suddenly broke apart..but thn too you still want to be residing safely in some corner of his heart?
Why is it that the relations we make don't come with tags of stability n permanence?
Why does it happen that after settling by all HIS explanations and arguments, our own explanations don't find a way to come out of our mind...n just a guilt remains forever..?
Why don't he ever listens..?
Why guys are always so dominating..?
Why do God don't make that person we bump into as our own instead of making us search for him forever..sobbed in tears...burdened by sadness...alone..lonely?
Why do fairy tales only exist in dreams..?
Why dun ever things fall in right place at right times..?
Why Life is just so "Unpredictable"..only at the wrong places..?
Why is it that YOU could never read HIS eyes? Why is it that some relations get so complicated and they then cease to have a name??
Why cant everyone go easy with fights and resolve as quickly as i do..?
Why can't i be like everyone else..."rude..angry..full of ego, pampers..cleverness..deceptiveness..selfishness"..?... :'(
Why do we cease to maintain all friendships n relations just for maintaining the bonding, making him happy, burying our self respect and respecting the thoughts and priorities of that "special someone"..without making him realize even a bit of all our sacrifices...n still he leaves one day for SOMEONE ELSE..without looking back...shattering your heart into million pieces..?????
Why do we only have to b satisfied with whatever happens..?
why not "happy endings" are something in REAL??
Why is it that both of you realize this when its too late......& u still wonder "IT COULD HAVE BEEN US!!!!!" Why is it that there is no Z after this Y.................... wish there was something after every WHY.
Wish there was someONE after every WHY.
I Love U...
Why is it that.....life always changes its questions when we have found the answers to the previous questions?
Why is it that we look for answers whose questions we dont know?
Why is it that answers to even the most obvious questions are so dreadful?
Why is it that we fear answers to certain questions but in heart of hearts we want to know the answers?
Why is it that we fear asking questions to that one person from whom we desperately want an answer?
Why is it that, that one person never realizes that he has to ask "something" n we have to answer "something".why is that when we finally muster up the courage to finally ask "something" .....he says....."I'm a bit busy can we talk later"?
Why is it then day in day out u wait for that one fone call?
Why is it that u r filled with 1 million joules of energy wen that name flashes on the cell phone screen?
Why is it that with every ring, u hope its him,with every msg u hope its his?
Why is it that if the call or msg wasnt his ,u lose 2 million joules of energy?? Why is it that one HI and BYE is more important than another 10 million HI's n BYE's?
Why is it that SHE gives the "answer" to his "questions" the way he wanted?
Why is it that now he could never see the pain,the tears,the feelings,the undying love that u had for him..?
Why is that after the person leaves we realizes his worth in our life and the depth of love for him which was left unspoken..unexpressed.......the preciousness he holds close to our soul?
Why is it that, he-the one who could once read your eyes,could hear you when u didnt open ur mouth, now, can't see ur eyes shouting?
Why is it that at one point of time in life he cant understand ur silence?
Why is it that you r happy within ur heart to see him happy with HER? Why is it u have such a big heart that u can see HIM with HER n being happy about THEM?
Why is it that he doesnt realize your eyes drifting away from his when he talks about "HER"?Why is it that he cant make out your fake smile when he talks about HER?
Why is it that u hav such a big heart and always get THEM together......immaterial of the heartache u go through??
Why is it after a big fight for begging n shouting for love, trust, understanding you suddenly broke apart..but thn too you still want to be residing safely in some corner of his heart?
Why is it that the relations we make don't come with tags of stability n permanence?
Why does it happen that after settling by all HIS explanations and arguments, our own explanations don't find a way to come out of our mind...n just a guilt remains forever..?
Why don't he ever listens..?
Why guys are always so dominating..?
Why do God don't make that person we bump into as our own instead of making us search for him forever..sobbed in tears...burdened by sadness...alone..lonely?
Why do fairy tales only exist in dreams..?
Why dun ever things fall in right place at right times..?
Why Life is just so "Unpredictable"..only at the wrong places..?
Why is it that YOU could never read HIS eyes? Why is it that some relations get so complicated and they then cease to have a name??
Why cant everyone go easy with fights and resolve as quickly as i do..?
Why can't i be like everyone else..."rude..angry..full of ego, pampers..cleverness..deceptiveness..selfishness"..?... :'(
Why do we cease to maintain all friendships n relations just for maintaining the bonding, making him happy, burying our self respect and respecting the thoughts and priorities of that "special someone"..without making him realize even a bit of all our sacrifices...n still he leaves one day for SOMEONE ELSE..without looking back...shattering your heart into million pieces..?????
Why do we only have to b satisfied with whatever happens..?
why not "happy endings" are something in REAL??
Why is it that both of you realize this when its too late......& u still wonder "IT COULD HAVE BEEN US!!!!!" Why is it that there is no Z after this Y.................... wish there was something after every WHY.
Wish there was someONE after every WHY.
I Love U...
about L♥VE.
When we entered teens, love was a mystery we were looking forward to decrypt. When we are exiting teens, we're still baffled by this yet unsolved mystery and have no more guts in our worn out cells to continue with the decryption procedure. But there's still something about love that keeps us coming back to it. Kinda analogue to cocaine. But more lethal. When we were kids, we just wanted to grow up, and fall in love, ignorant of the fact that wounded knees hurt much less than wounded (smashed/butchered/broken to nano pieces etc) hearts!! Love is magical. No two thoughts about it.But only for the time it lasts. After it's all over... life is hell! Especially if you're one of the sentimental fools who takes 2 light years to get over people. Here's a lay down on how people can fall out of love. Falling in love is easy. Falling out takes the life out of your soul. But it's not impossible. One needs to really want to come out of that hell hole and be mentally strong throughout the process and have a really really good set of friends who will not let you fall. This friends part is really important because they keep in check all the withdrawal symptoms and their blackmailing (read: Taking out the phone and threatening you that they'd call up your love interest and tell him/her about your feelings for him/her.... in case he/she doesn't know about it already). But the most important thing is to really feel and MEAN from inside when you say that you actually had it enough and want to get over him/her. Once your resolve is strong, everything will take its own course automatically.(But that too is just damn tough)
One thing that one does in love is to give in to what your love says. No questions asked. You just do it, even if it's hard on your self respect. The thing is that, we do it, only because there's no time nor the inclination to THINK when the thing happens!!! It just happens ..... kind of an involuntary action. The outcome of this is that we start hating ourselves after everything's over. For neglecting our self respect for a person who probably didn't even bother to care. The I-hate-myself part is the toughest. And it's not right... why hate yourself for something that you did which was right to you? You did it, and now if you are feeling bad, just chuck it out of your grey cells. After all, you can't hate yourself.... you have to live with yourself for your entire life, whereas life with that one person is as uncertain as celebrity affairs. Love yourself, it's YOU after all!!! And just think about this... when you were in love..... how many times did you have the time to love and think about yourself.... isn't that a crime on your part not to love YOURSELF.... someone who's the only person who's the closest to you?? (Kinda abstract idea! ;)) Just look into the mirror once and muse over the person you've become after "love" happened and the person you were before that. It'll be motivation enough! How To Get Over and How To Get Back With People (It's also about how you can get back with your love!!!) but the thing is that you don't need to be an Einstein to figure it out. Love hampers your thinking abilities. The minute you're out of it, you'll have all the wisdom on Earth to deliver sermons on how you did it, write blog posts, penning down books etc etc...!! Yeh ishq nahi aasan.... but if you're one of the lucky ones for whom it is.... there's nothing like it!!! They say love is blind. Agreed.
then, why is lingerie so popular????!!!! Think about it!!
Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. ….And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.
---Edward, New Moon
About two things I am absolutely positive,
First, Edward is a vampire and
Second, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him!
Bella correctly said in Twilight when Edward asks her if she's scared of him because he's a vampire... and she says, "I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn’t afraid if you said you weren't!!!"
There are some amazing lines from the book though.... actually one per page! But some of the absolute gems have to be
Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget- Bella Swan in New Moon, when she's trying to get over the fact that Edward's gone forever and she can't make herself remember him and his memories... and she fears that if she doesn't remember him, she'll forget him!!
Edward : And the lion fell in love with the lamb
Bella: What a stupid lamb..
Edward: What a sick masochistic lion!
Edward: Could a dead, frozen break? I felt mine could, When he thought that Bella'd like someone else and not him,... (only a certified loser would do that!), thinking when he was in Bella's room watching her sleep, surreptiously... not in a peeping Tom manner...but in a very cute way!
Bella: Edward... Edward... Stay please.... don't go, murmuring in her sleep, dreaming about him.
Edward: Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? It felt mine was about to, speaking to himself, not believing what he'd just heard...
(more on--- www.twilightquotes.com)
(more on--- www.twilightquotes.com)
PRESENT..!!
...the present is being continuously being distorted by Memories of the past or by projections into the future.
The pristine present moment is continuously adulterated by the distortion. The mind is therefore never still.
The thoughts keep flowing relentlessly, almost involuntarily. And thoughts are entirely within the domain of past events or apprehensions of the future.
..the "here n now" all the while gets modified into the "then n there" depending on the programme that is used..the prgrm is the amalgamation of memories, temperament & conditooning. The output genereated after the processng of present is thn categoriesd as happiness, sadness n the entire gamut of emotions. The present intrinscally has no characteristic. It is devoid of any emotional shade. it is just AwAreNess..Pure Being-ness.
The mind transforms unbiased cognition to baised perception. All emotions are purely within the ambit of perception. There is nothng absolute about them. The constant struggle that ensues in the mind is the duel btwn the individual's perception of what is n how it ought to be.
The natural succession to this line of thinkng is whether one can really manipulate the outer wrld n ensure what ought to be...honestly "NO"...
The present moment is wasted in castigating d past n strategising the future.
Knowing deep down , of not havng the whrwithal to effect our will, we would realise hw insane is our obsession with power to control.
It is a common xperince that anticipation of happiness is probably more joyful thn the actual event n anticipation of pain is more painful thn the point of suffering. In both the cases it is the present moment that is pregnent with perception is in hyperbola. That is why wen the actual event takes place, both the pain n d happiness r lesser thn projected.
Meditaion is training the mind to be in the here n now..
The present moment is devoid of any sense of ego.
The pure present moment wen disrobed of d past or future is just a sense of "am"ness...the "am"ness has no name,no past n no aspiration..rather lyk what d bungee jumper xperince..
or those moments wen one is so absorbed in what one is doing that one loses the sense of identity. Like listening to soulful music..
We all probably xperince these quasi static states off n on but we might nt b aware of it. that point of impersonal conciousness is nothng short of meditation. and losng one's identity, even if for a few moments, is plesurable. Becoz at that moment all percieved emotions also vanish as they r of the sense of identity..the realised soul resides in that state voluntarily..
(in TOI..4july..by Deepak Ranade: deepakranade@hotmail.com)
...the present is being continuously being distorted by Memories of the past or by projections into the future.
The pristine present moment is continuously adulterated by the distortion. The mind is therefore never still.
The thoughts keep flowing relentlessly, almost involuntarily. And thoughts are entirely within the domain of past events or apprehensions of the future.
..the "here n now" all the while gets modified into the "then n there" depending on the programme that is used..the prgrm is the amalgamation of memories, temperament & conditooning. The output genereated after the processng of present is thn categoriesd as happiness, sadness n the entire gamut of emotions. The present intrinscally has no characteristic. It is devoid of any emotional shade. it is just AwAreNess..Pure Being-ness.
The mind transforms unbiased cognition to baised perception. All emotions are purely within the ambit of perception. There is nothng absolute about them. The constant struggle that ensues in the mind is the duel btwn the individual's perception of what is n how it ought to be.
The natural succession to this line of thinkng is whether one can really manipulate the outer wrld n ensure what ought to be...honestly "NO"...
The present moment is wasted in castigating d past n strategising the future.
Knowing deep down , of not havng the whrwithal to effect our will, we would realise hw insane is our obsession with power to control.
It is a common xperince that anticipation of happiness is probably more joyful thn the actual event n anticipation of pain is more painful thn the point of suffering. In both the cases it is the present moment that is pregnent with perception is in hyperbola. That is why wen the actual event takes place, both the pain n d happiness r lesser thn projected.
Meditaion is training the mind to be in the here n now..
The present moment is devoid of any sense of ego.
The pure present moment wen disrobed of d past or future is just a sense of "am"ness...the "am"ness has no name,no past n no aspiration..rather lyk what d bungee jumper xperince..
or those moments wen one is so absorbed in what one is doing that one loses the sense of identity. Like listening to soulful music..
We all probably xperince these quasi static states off n on but we might nt b aware of it. that point of impersonal conciousness is nothng short of meditation. and losng one's identity, even if for a few moments, is plesurable. Becoz at that moment all percieved emotions also vanish as they r of the sense of identity..the realised soul resides in that state voluntarily..
(in TOI..4july..by Deepak Ranade: deepakranade@hotmail.com)
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