in SearcH of..somE...>>>>MoDeration>>>>>>>>>>

..so someday today..remembering those good old times with you besides..invisibly visible ways....
those teary moments..emotions..smiles..the things i took for granted..those dominating judgements...those over protectiveness..the "feel" that i seldom find in me now...
.....really need them back..i crave for them...
..m not comfortable somewhere deep inside with what's really going with my life.."new friends"..
scared that mayb again somewhre sometime i could be left..abondened..cheated...maybe bit more harshly...
the test of destiny can come any moment again..untold..unseen..like silent thunders...

whats inside the minds of people goes i never get to know..i try.....
its just the faith on me..that coz i will nt do anythng wrong so hopefully they too should dwell faith on me..
or pity on my dead broken inside n not play the unjustified so called pranks..
m really old n tired inside..n more experienced...my inside voices i listen n TRY to follow most of the times..
n they yell at me badly to not to move on in wrong directions...but a lonely inside needs companions...
it says that you can be damn happy with your own company..bt my greedy outside says there's no life without friends..
bt dun realise they too cud go wrong..or mayb thats jus some pleaseur comfort bonding....
the bondings i need are the ones which i dont want to be in touch always but just feel happy that "oh..they are there whenever i NEED them"
i had moved on..bt not completely out of that panic mode..m scared to lose those precious moments...for the smiles they give..
i need bit of everythng..but really in MODERATION...to make the base strong..nt by pleasure..bt with bricks of trust..honesty..n support..

"...Addictions MAke Me Uncomfortable..."

"....Lives we have never lived
Hopes we have never realized
Fires we have never lit
Loves we shall never never make again

Sun in the earth sunflower
Bird in the air rain
Eye within eye
daybreak
I hear those strange whispers again...."