.....yet another teary time...completed reading “message in a bottle” ....Garette..Theresa..Cathrine.....though a story..bt powerful enough to make eyes wet wid every page I read...fr me indeed more overwhelming, cz it make me remembr all dat happened wid me......to re-live all those moments again...to feel all that again …slowly tym is making me slip off my hands...i tightly cling all dat bt thn too d memory is fading.....whenever i remember i can feel him near...though hav to try hard nw..bt i CAN..cz his presence is preserved deep insyd me...i cn feel his hands on my cheek...those hugs n d way he use to put a hand on my head.....

..no amount of analysis can change the truth wot really is…dat I love him..still…d same…n more thn I did ever…

He ws so much simple wen we met 2yrs back..thn dun knw frm whr all d complexities dwelled in d lives…though they wer bt nt so much loudly talked about….

It ws not his looks or anything that made me love him..its some strange raw purity in him that I felt…which eventually is fading..n fading..

..it ws a big time we wer togther..n nvr discussed the real important thngs..dat y d distances ruining the bonding….it ws becoming tough to nt being around nw…bt nvr talked abt finding any solution..waited fr future n present got so much distorted…shayd dats being d side effects of being unxperinced abt big thngs in life…

Growing together brings the best in any relation…which none of us understood…cz we wer nt together in real sense..imaginations cant help always..

…sm lil basic naturally occurring thngs..creates big magical effects…d face to face conversations…smiling at teach othr..laughing out loud together…sitting silently…noticing the reaction wen smthng suddenly happens...in real way Understanding each other that comes naturally nt really explaining each thng…cz v really dun knw ourselves d way other person can.........

I missed all dat in my life...n nw in my memories too....

…nw..I fear having close proximities n relations wid anyone...fear getting hurt again..modifying myself to not to seek any bondings ever cz in d end evry1 leaves leaving u terribly puzzled in between thousands of reasons..n oceans of tears..cz NOW I really realized dat ‘being alone’ is destined for ME.. ..its not only the breaths we get that are counted…but now I realize its also d tears..no matter how hard u try to escape or stop the feeling..they do make thr way out…

…in times of his trouble every moment i try to b near him..(though cud b only imaginatively)….to make him positive wenevr thngs go wrong...to make him realize dat God's always a saviour n nuthng cud happen to his dad n soon d sufferings will b ovr...wenevr i hear dat tired voice i feel lyk keepng his head in my lap n giv him nice masage n make him sleep losing all his tensions...to hug him tightly wen tears jus tend to drop frm his eyes while fighting frm situations n being strong fr evry1..….bt not being able to b fr himself….losing his cool at tyms…

… to let all the tears flow by, smtym ,if really needed without him being shying away n hiding them from anyone...

..jus want to brk off frm d situations n make evrythng as before….an impossible kinda thought..to break icy wall whch cud only b melted...

……..the unfair thing about d whole situation is that i still miss him sometimes, or rather,

always the good parts about him..

“......in a world that i seldom understand, there are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them, sometimes they gust with d fury of a hurricane, sometimes they barely fan one's cheek. But the winds cannot be denied, Bringing, as they often do, a future that is impossible to ignore.....”

......................The emptiness is killing me slowly as i wipe the tears that fall from my eyes,I realize u're really gone.My heart breaks as it crumbles to the floor,I drop to my knees unaware of what to do. I close my eyes and picture you,I see your face,your smile.I feel your arms around me holding me tightly,so tightly I can't breath,I gasp for air.All alone, scared....Thats how I feel without you..





I Love U..