.........THE NOTEBOOK.........

"our souls were one, if u must know and never shall they be apart; with splendid dawn, ur face glow..i reach for u and find my heart..."

...poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic n common sense. that's what it was like for me..I didn't plan on falling in love with u, and i doubt if u planned on falling in love with me.
but once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beauitful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that's why every minute we spent togther has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it..

...the reason it hurts so much to separate is bcause our souls are connected. mayb they always have been n will be..maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one n in each of them we've found each other.and mayb each tym , we've been forced apart for some reasons..that means that this goodbye is both a good bye for the past thousand years n a prelude to what will come.
When i looked at u, i see ur beauty n grace n knw they hav grown stronger with every life u lived,and i knw i hav spent every life before this one searchng for u.not someone like u, but u, for ur soul and mine must always come togther. and then,for a reason neither of us understands,we've been forced to say goodbye...
i wud luv to tell u that everythng will work out for us, and i promise to do all i can to make sure it does..but if we nvr meet agn n this is truly a goodbye, i knw we will see each other again in another life..we will find each other again, and mayb the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that tym, but for all the times we've had before.....



for once i am all loss of words..it is strange experince for me, for when i think of u and the life we have shared, there is much to remember...a lifetime of memories....


thinking back on our life togther..u r always here with me..at least in my heart...and its impossible for me to remember a time when u were not a part of me.....i am who i am because of u......u r every reason, every hope, and every dream i've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are togther is the greatest day of my life..i will always be urs...and, my darling, u will always be mine....

dusk , is just an illusion, bcoz the sun is either above the horizon or below it...and tht means day n nyt are linked in a way that few thngs are..thr cannot be one without the other...yet they cannot exist at the same time...how wud it feel i wonder...to be always togther, yet forever apart?...




...remember....we use to sit silently and watch the world around us..this takes a lifetime to learn..it seems only the grown ups are able to sit next to one another n not say anythng and still feel content....... silence is pure. silence is holy. it draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking for hours..without breaking its charm..experiencing the soul connection........the great paradox....!!





I Love U...

I MISS........................♥


...those most enthralling monsoons of '07...

...those days spent in messaging...

...the excitement of the 'rockers community'

...those meetings which sparked life in me...

...that "sm1s" smile which reached my eyes for the first time...

...those tears that transformed to pearls by the touch of someone...

...those talks in whispers...

...the silence so soothing...

...holding hands..criss-crossed fingers...

...the warm bear hugs...

...the sweetest kisses...

...the amazing affection...

...the undying passions...

...the loveliest Roses...

...those reveries...

...sharing glories...

...the care and concern in abundance...

...the childishness that was born in me...

...the excitement of seeing him just in front of my eyes...

...the scintillating feelings and goose bumps at the moment he tells --''m coming back...shweetheart..!!" :')

...the insomniac nights...

...that honey filled husky voice...

...those deepest glittering eyes..

...the silly mistakes and fierce fights...

...the time of storms of betrayals and mistrust which weren't able to swallow the love at one time in life...

...the slow transformation from "existing" to "living" being...

...the words of wisdom, inspiration and encouragement...

...that only hope in the darkest of the darkest world...

...the hopefulness of fulfilling aspirations and expectations...

...the discovery mission through the depths of his heart of hearts...

...the depths of immortal unconditional love and the heights of true blind trust...

...the part of God i touched and felt so close once that resided deep within his pure soul--undiscovered, serene,suave...

...the feel of soul connection...

...the phenomenal changes that were awaiting by...

...the innocence of urs which how hard i tried to preserve, but failed..... :"(





♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥
I miss my life
I miss my laugh
I miss my childhood
I miss my mistakes
I miss my anger
I miss my fights
I miss my love :'(
♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥

I Love U...

WHY...?


Why is it that.....life always changes its questions when we have found the answers to the previous questions?

Why is it that we look for answers whose questions we dont know?

Why is it that answers to even the most obvious questions are so dreadful?

Why is it that we fear answers to certain questions but in heart of hearts we want to know the answers?

Why is it that we fear asking questions to that one person from whom we desperately want an answer?

Why is it that, that one person never realizes that he has to ask "something" n we have to answer "something".why is that when we finally muster up the courage to finally ask "something" .....he says....."I'm a bit busy can we talk later"?

Why is it then day in day out u wait for that one fone call?

Why is it that u r filled with 1 million joules of energy wen that name flashes on the cell phone screen?

Why is it that with every ring, u hope its him,with every msg u hope its his?

Why is it that if the call or msg wasnt his ,u lose 2 million joules of energy?? Why is it that one HI and BYE is more important than another 10 million HI's n BYE's?

Why is it that SHE gives the "answer" to his "questions" the way he wanted?
Why is it that now he could never see the pain,the tears,the feelings,the undying love that u had for him..?
Why is that after the person leaves we realizes his worth in our life and the depth of love for him which was left unspoken..unexpressed.......the preciousness he holds close to our soul?
Why is it that, he-the one who could once read your eyes,could hear you when u didnt open ur mouth, now, can't see ur eyes shouting?
Why is it that at one point of time in life he cant understand ur silence?

Why is it that you r happy within ur heart to see him happy with HER? Why is it u have such a big heart that u can see HIM with HER n being happy about THEM?

Why is it that he doesnt realize your eyes drifting away from his when he talks about "HER"?Why is it that he cant make out your fake smile when he talks about HER?
Why is it that u hav such a big heart and always get THEM together......immaterial of the heartache u go through??
Why is it after a big fight for begging n shouting for love, trust, understanding you suddenly broke apart..but thn too you still want to be residing safely in some corner of his heart?
Why is it that the relations we make don't come with tags of stability n permanence?
Why does it happen that after settling by all HIS explanations and arguments, our own explanations don't find a way to come out of our mind...n just a guilt remains forever..?
Why don't he ever listens..?
Why guys are always so dominating..?
Why do God don't make that person we bump into as our own instead of making us search for him forever..sobbed in tears...burdened by sadness...alone..lonely?
Why do fairy tales only exist in dreams..?
Why dun ever things fall in right place at right times..?
Why Life is just so "Unpredictable"..only at the wrong places..?


Why is it that YOU could never read HIS eyes? Why is it that some relations get so complicated and they then cease to have a name??
Why cant everyone go easy with fights and resolve as quickly as i do..?
Why can't i be like everyone else..."rude..angry..full of ego, pampers..cleverness..deceptiveness..selfishness"..?... :'(

Why do we cease to maintain all friendships n relations just for maintaining the bonding, making him happy, burying our self respect and respecting the thoughts and priorities of that "special someone"..without making him realize even a bit of all our sacrifices...n still he leaves one day for SOMEONE ELSE..without looking back...shattering your heart into million pieces..?????

Why do we only have to b satisfied with whatever happens..?
why not "happy endings" are something in REAL??

Why is it that both of you realize this when its too late......& u still wonder "IT COULD HAVE BEEN US!!!!!" Why is it that there is no Z after this Y.................... wish there was something after every WHY.
Wish there was someONE after every WHY.









I Love U...

about L♥VE.


When we entered teens, love was a mystery we were looking forward to decrypt. When we are exiting teens, we're still baffled by this yet unsolved mystery and have no more guts in our worn out cells to continue with the decryption procedure. But there's still something about love that keeps us coming back to it. Kinda analogue to cocaine. But more lethal. When we were kids, we just wanted to grow up, and fall in love, ignorant of the fact that wounded knees hurt much less than wounded (smashed/butchered/broken to nano pieces etc) hearts!! Love is magical. No two thoughts about it.But only for the time it lasts. After it's all over... life is hell! Especially if you're one of the sentimental fools who takes 2 light years to get over people. Here's a lay down on how people can fall out of love. Falling in love is easy. Falling out takes the life out of your soul. But it's not impossible. One needs to really want to come out of that hell hole and be mentally strong throughout the process and have a really really good set of friends who will not let you fall. This friends part is really important because they keep in check all the withdrawal symptoms and their blackmailing (read: Taking out the phone and threatening you that they'd call up your love interest and tell him/her about your feelings for him/her.... in case he/she doesn't know about it already). But the most important thing is to really feel and MEAN from inside when you say that you actually had it enough and want to get over him/her. Once your resolve is strong, everything will take its own course automatically.(But that too is just damn tough)

One thing that one does in love is to give in to what your love says. No questions asked. You just do it, even if it's hard on your self respect. The thing is that, we do it, only because there's no time nor the inclination to THINK when the thing happens!!! It just happens ..... kind of an involuntary action. The outcome of this is that we start hating ourselves after everything's over. For neglecting our self respect for a person who probably didn't even bother to care. The I-hate-myself part is the toughest. And it's not right... why hate yourself for something that you did which was right to you? You did it, and now if you are feeling bad, just chuck it out of your grey cells. After all, you can't hate yourself.... you have to live with yourself for your entire life, whereas life with that one person is as uncertain as celebrity affairs. Love yourself, it's YOU after all!!! And just think about this... when you were in love..... how many times did you have the time to love and think about yourself.... isn't that a crime on your part not to love YOURSELF.... someone who's the only person who's the closest to you?? (Kinda abstract idea! ;)) Just look into the mirror once and muse over the person you've become after "love" happened and the person you were before that. It'll be motivation enough! How To Get Over and How To Get Back With People (It's also about how you can get back with your love!!!) but the thing is that you don't need to be an Einstein to figure it out. Love hampers your thinking abilities. The minute you're out of it, you'll have all the wisdom on Earth to deliver sermons on how you did it, write blog posts, penning down books etc etc...!! Yeh ishq nahi aasan.... but if you're one of the lucky ones for whom it is.... there's nothing like it!!! They say love is blind. Agreed.
then, why is lingerie so popular????!!!! Think about it!!

Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. ….And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.
---Edward, New Moon







About two things I am absolutely positive,

First, Edward is a vampire and

Second, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him!

Bella correctly said in Twilight when Edward asks her if she's scared of him because he's a vampire... and she says, "I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn’t afraid if you said you weren't!!!"

There are some amazing lines from the book though.... actually one per page! But some of the absolute gems have to be

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget- Bella Swan in New Moon, when she's trying to get over the fact that Edward's gone forever and she can't make herself remember him and his memories... and she fears that if she doesn't remember him, she'll forget him!!

Edward : And the lion fell in love with the lamb

Bella: What a stupid lamb..

Edward: What a sick masochistic lion!

Edward: Could a dead, frozen break? I felt mine could, When he thought that Bella'd like someone else and not him,... (only a certified loser would do that!), thinking when he was in Bella's room watching her sleep, surreptiously... not in a peeping Tom manner...but in a very cute way!

Bella: Edward... Edward... Stay please.... don't go, murmuring in her sleep, dreaming about him.

Edward: Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? It felt mine was about to, speaking to himself, not believing what he'd just heard...



(more on--- www.twilightquotes.com)

PRESENT..!!

...the present is being continuously being distorted by Memories of the past or by projections into the future.
The pristine present moment is continuously adulterated by the distortion. The mind is therefore never still.
The thoughts keep flowing relentlessly, almost involuntarily. And thoughts are entirely within the domain of past events or apprehensions of the future.
..the "here n now" all the while gets modified into the "then n there" depending on the programme that is used..the prgrm is the amalgamation of memories, temperament & conditooning. The output genereated after the processng of present is thn categoriesd as happiness, sadness n the entire gamut of emotions. The present intrinscally has no characteristic. It is devoid of any emotional shade. it is just AwAreNess..Pure Being-ness.
The mind transforms unbiased cognition to baised perception. All emotions are purely within the ambit of perception. There is nothng absolute about them. The constant struggle that ensues in the mind is the duel btwn the individual's perception of what is n how it ought to be.
The natural succession to this line of thinkng is whether one can really manipulate the outer wrld n ensure what ought to be...honestly "NO"...
The present moment is wasted in castigating d past n strategising the future.
Knowing deep down , of not havng the whrwithal to effect our will, we would realise hw insane is our obsession with power to control.
It is a common xperince that anticipation of happiness is probably more joyful thn the actual event n anticipation of pain is more painful thn the point of suffering. In both the cases it is the present moment that is pregnent with perception is in hyperbola. That is why wen the actual event takes place, both the pain n d happiness r lesser thn projected.
Meditaion is training the mind to be in the here n now..

The present moment is devoid of any sense of ego.
The pure present moment wen disrobed of d past or future is just a sense of "am"ness...the "am"ness has no name,no past n no aspiration..rather lyk what d bungee jumper xperince..
or those moments wen one is so absorbed in what one is doing that one loses the sense of identity. Like listening to soulful music..
We all probably xperince these quasi static states off n on but we might nt b aware of it. that point of impersonal conciousness is nothng short of meditation. and losng one's identity, even if for a few moments, is plesurable. Becoz at that moment all percieved emotions also vanish as they r of the sense of identity..the realised soul resides in that state voluntarily..

(in TOI..4july..by Deepak Ranade: deepakranade@hotmail.com)

SOMEBODY'S ME(Enrique)
.............................................................................
уσυ, ∂σ уσυ яємємвєя мє?
ℓιкє ι яємємвєя уσυ?
∂σ уσυ ѕρєη∂ уσυя ℓιƒє
gσιηg вα¢к ιη уσυя мιη∂ tσ tнαt tιмє?
вє¢αυѕє ι, ι ωαℓк tнє ѕtяєєtѕ αℓσηє
ι нαtє вєιηg ση му σωη
αη∂ єνєяуσηє ¢αη ѕєє tнαt ι яєαℓℓу ƒelℓ
αη∂ ι'м gσιηg tняσυgн нєℓℓ
tнιηкιηg αвσυt уσυ ωιtн ѕσмєвσ∂у єℓѕє

ѕσмєвσ∂у ωαηtѕ уσυ
ѕσмєвσ∂у ηєє∂ѕ уσυ
ѕσмєвσ∂у ∂яєαмѕ αвσυт уσυ єνєяу ѕιηgℓє ηιgнт
ѕσмєвσ∂у ¢αη't вяєαтн ωιtнσυt уσυ, ιt'ѕ ℓσηєℓу
ѕσмєвσ∂у нσρєѕ tнαt σηє ∂αу уσυ ωιℓℓ ѕєє
tнαt ѕσмєвσ∂у'ѕ мє

нσω, нσω ¢συℓ∂ ωє gσ ωяσηg
ιt ωαѕ ѕσ gσσ∂ αη∂ ησω ιt'ѕ gσηє
αη∂ ι ρяαу αt ηιgнt tнαt συя ραtнѕ ѕσση ωιℓℓ ¢яσѕѕ
αη∂ ωнαt ωє нα∂ ιѕη't ℓσѕt
¢αυѕє уσυ'яє αℓωαуѕ яιgнt нєяє ιη му tнσυgнtѕ

уσυ'ℓℓ αℓωαуѕ вє ιη му ℓιƒє
єνєη ιƒ ι'м ησt ιη уσυя ℓιƒє
вє¢αυѕє уσυ'яє ιη му мємσяу
уσυ, ωιℓℓ уσυ яємємвєя мє
αη∂ вєƒσяє уσυ ѕєt мє ƒяєє
....................................................................................






I Love U...

Deep inside me..lies the convict with hands drenched in blood...
murderer of the innocence of that purest heart that Loved ME....
..the soul how hard i try to purify..the burden of breaking someone's soul always remain there still..making me feel remorseful with each passing day...
finding places to hide from this world..to drown myself deep down in the oceans of sadness n loneliness...
..why cant that compassion grew in me like in everyone else...
why did God made me so merciless n cold..
the world grows with love..survives each failure with love..
but why only me..who cant feel the power of boundless love..
why only me..who cant keep MY LOVE happy Forever..secure with me..
why only do i was never able to make him understood myself..

..m i askng too much from u God..its jus Him i need...forever..to give Him the love the way you bestow on us..
..for that i can defy any challenges whichever you set for me..


i want to LIVE God..please don't do this to me.....
i need him...n smwhr deep..His heart too pleads................. :'(.

I Love U...

...rain...the drizzles..childish masti..everything turned out to be so intense inside.....time to leave that child inside far behind...

..rain>>...pouring happiness...or my tears...
...amazing time we spent getting drenched together..but now..feels as these drops are tiny thorns piercing me deep down...painfully.....
how to smile nw with that cool breeze that surrounds me..hugs me in its arms..which used to assure me of ur presence forever...bt nw hw cud..when the reason is lost..
....the curve on ur face....i wish to see every second...try to feel you closing my eyes..
..reminisces of the times still lay fresh in my mind.....still tryng to smile with memories.....still wondering..finding reasons..why am i so incapable...why always everyone leaves ME in distress...why cant i leave anyone n make them feel the pain of solitude.....m devastated badly inside....if only could anyone have ever heard the shattering of that lonely soul....attachments are painful..more than any other pain..

..why cant you feel now...why only when evryone sees me inside only you don't tend to look back...how to tell you that how much am scared of this world now..scared of everyone..scared of my own shadow...what if they too leave me..break my trust...
..i still stand thr..miles before you..waitng for u...'coz you had promised u'd nvr leave me...still i lit the candles of hope inside me protecting frm thunders n storms....
...WAITING.....till forever stays................... :"(








I Love U...