It Hurts....Only When i Breath..............
Hope life has been good to you
Since you've been gone
I'm doing fine now
I'v finally moved on...
Its not so bad
I'm not that sad...
I'm not surprised
Just how well I survived
I'm over the worst
And I feel so alive...
I cant complain
I'm free again...
It only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks,when its beating
My dreams only die,when I'm dreaming
So I hold back my breath--to forget...
Dont think I'm lying around
Crying at night
Theres no need to worry
I'm really alright...
I try not to look back
As a matter of fact...
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks,when its beating
My dreams only die,when I'm dreaming
So I hold back my breath--to forget...
It hurts...only when I breath................
<<(wishng ya'..a very happy birthday...hope things go amazng ur side..God Bless)...Missing ya'..a lott today....this day's haunting me....... :'(
hoping my end within the dark night of 21november celebrations......
cudn't really wait for 21 dec 2012 fr thngs to end.....
I love u.....
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
The heart that dies away...
:'(
When
you were in buoyant spirits,
you smile even at strangers,
you dance in the middle of a road,
you sing in the middle of the crowd,
you know,
there's this heart pounding in excitement for you.
When
your fortitude crumbles,
your faith lost,
your confidence defeated,
your heart shattered,
you know,
there's this heart that still beats for your every existence.
this heart,
distant yet you cant deny the closeness.
feel the pain when you are in pain.
feel the euphoria when you did.
but where is he?
doubts about his existence,
doubts about his feelings,
doubts about his heart.
Questions linger in the mind.
yet, there's no answer.
if only, he's here.
no amount of tears could bring him here.
no intensity of longing could bring him here.
how could it be?
Tears of guilit and regrets drops,
drop by drop,
it tured into a stream like there's no ending.
battered and bruised his heart was,
he still care.
For you.
But, his heart refused to return.
Miserable must have filled his heart.
his stubborness does not give way.
he will forget eveything,
memories and
finally,
every inch of you.
By then,
you will accept fate
and let the heart,
once yours,
once that beats only for you,
once that ache beacuse of you,
to die away.
♥\\♥
facebook groups.
:'(
When
you were in buoyant spirits,
you smile even at strangers,
you dance in the middle of a road,
you sing in the middle of the crowd,
you know,
there's this heart pounding in excitement for you.
When
your fortitude crumbles,
your faith lost,
your confidence defeated,
your heart shattered,
you know,
there's this heart that still beats for your every existence.
this heart,
distant yet you cant deny the closeness.
feel the pain when you are in pain.
feel the euphoria when you did.
but where is he?
doubts about his existence,
doubts about his feelings,
doubts about his heart.
Questions linger in the mind.
yet, there's no answer.
if only, he's here.
no amount of tears could bring him here.
no intensity of longing could bring him here.
how could it be?
Tears of guilit and regrets drops,
drop by drop,
it tured into a stream like there's no ending.
battered and bruised his heart was,
he still care.
For you.
But, his heart refused to return.
Miserable must have filled his heart.
his stubborness does not give way.
he will forget eveything,
memories and
finally,
every inch of you.
By then,
you will accept fate
and let the heart,
once yours,
once that beats only for you,
once that ache beacuse of you,
to die away.
♥\\♥
facebook groups.
...Let's Make A Deal..>>>
You forgive me for liking you too much,
And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.
You forgive me for missing you so,
And I'll forgive you for being so cold.
You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.
You forgive me for playing your games,
And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.
You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
And I'll forgive you for not noticing.
You forgive me for raising you up so high,
And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.
You forgive me for wanting to be with you,
And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.
You forgive me for being so pathetic,
And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.
You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.
You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
And I'll forgive you for crushing them.
Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Do we have a deal?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
♥\\♥
..from --facebook groups..
You forgive me for liking you too much,
And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.
You forgive me for missing you so,
And I'll forgive you for being so cold.
You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.
You forgive me for playing your games,
And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.
You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
And I'll forgive you for not noticing.
You forgive me for raising you up so high,
And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.
You forgive me for wanting to be with you,
And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.
You forgive me for being so pathetic,
And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.
You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.
You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
And I'll forgive you for crushing them.
Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Do we have a deal?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
♥\\♥
..from --facebook groups..
<..cease of trust..>
so..for a lifetime now..
its you with whom i'll share my one-to-one conversations...
for nw u'll b my mirror to look into my own world sometimes..
..for now on u'll b the one who'll preserve all my memories ..
..holding 'em softly like a newly bloomed flower..
..for now on u'll b the one who'll soak all my tears into ur heart..
..for nw on u'll b the one to hold my intense rage towards the world n thn calming down me for the bettr...
...sometimes sharing some passions...
.sometimes the gloomy mushy imaginations...
..u'll b the one to hold me strong fr a while..n sometimes witnessing my sweetest smiles n glowing eyes.. :)
..sometimes bringing some provoking thots in mind..
..so for now on..u r my best friend....my shadow...my dear diary...
'cause u dun excuricate me upto unbearable limits...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so..for a lifetime now..
its you with whom i'll share my one-to-one conversations...
for nw u'll b my mirror to look into my own world sometimes..
..for now on u'll b the one who'll preserve all my memories ..
..holding 'em softly like a newly bloomed flower..
..for now on u'll b the one who'll soak all my tears into ur heart..
..for nw on u'll b the one to hold my intense rage towards the world n thn calming down me for the bettr...
...sometimes sharing some passions...
.sometimes the gloomy mushy imaginations...
..u'll b the one to hold me strong fr a while..n sometimes witnessing my sweetest smiles n glowing eyes.. :)
..sometimes bringing some provoking thots in mind..
..so for now on..u r my best friend....my shadow...my dear diary...
'cause u dun excuricate me upto unbearable limits...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, October 5, 2009
♥...THERE ARE SOMETHINGS GUYS SHOULD ALWAYS DO FOR GIRLS...♥
>>..jus got this while surfng facebook one day..felt good aftr readng so puttng it here...though it takes lott of effort guys to follow it all.. ;))
n its not only for ur girlfriends..bt for every women in your life..ur mothers, sisters, collegues..n every1.. wish u all "gud luck"..!! :D <<
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so, here are some suggestions to encourage guys to be gentlemen. ;)) -----------
2.A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet - whatever her preference is - *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.)
3. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn't limited, to:
"You & Me" by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of "Everything I Do, I Do it for You"
"Collide" by Howie Day
"Out Of My League" by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY "Question" by the Old 97's ..
4. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.
5. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)
6. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.
7. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.
8. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi".
9. Ask her questions about herself.
10. Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/etc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice scents.
11. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.)
12. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one.
13. Kiss her on the forehead.
14.When she's sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can't cook, there's Campbell's soup at hand for you.
15. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you'd better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you're unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it!
16. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points).
17. LOOK IN HER EYES.
18.. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.
19. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.
20. Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...)
21.Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).
22. Don't be too proud to apologize.
23. It's not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you're standing outside her window with night vision goggles.
24. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.
25. If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.
26. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them.
27. Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some".
28. Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]
29. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]
30. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)
31. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it!
35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her.
36.If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do.
37. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.
38. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>..jus got this while surfng facebook one day..felt good aftr readng so puttng it here...though it takes lott of effort guys to follow it all.. ;))
n its not only for ur girlfriends..bt for every women in your life..ur mothers, sisters, collegues..n every1.. wish u all "gud luck"..!! :D <<
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so, here are some suggestions to encourage guys to be gentlemen. ;)) -----------
1. Open doors when possible - whether it be to a building or the passenger car door..
2.A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet - whatever her preference is - *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.)
3. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn't limited, to:
"You & Me" by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of "Everything I Do, I Do it for You"
"Collide" by Howie Day
"Out Of My League" by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY "Question" by the Old 97's ..
4. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.
5. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)
6. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.
7. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.
8. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi".
9. Ask her questions about herself.
10. Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/etc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice scents.
11. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.)
12. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one.
13. Kiss her on the forehead.
14.When she's sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can't cook, there's Campbell's soup at hand for you.
15. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you'd better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you're unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it!
16. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points).
17. LOOK IN HER EYES.
18.. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.
19. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.
20. Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...)
21.Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).
22. Don't be too proud to apologize.
23. It's not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you're standing outside her window with night vision goggles.
24. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.
25. If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.
26. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them.
27. Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some".
28. Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]
29. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]
30. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)
31. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it!
35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her.
36.If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do.
37. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.
38. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Expectations Hurts..
..is this love all about xpectations...koi kisi koi jaisa hai waisa kyu nai accept kar pata...why didnt nyone ever have taught anyone how to do the mind reading..i was no god who cud do it..long distance relations with assurance abt future..bt sab circumstances n situations dont let ny1 lead without suffocating the heart....it takes a lot of effort to maintain the bonding...but without patience how cud...
...arguments n debates...kisi ne sahi se politely baat karna nai sikhaya kya...why being so dominating always...it feels like evrythng is bleedng n cryng insyd wen we wer talkng..d wrds piercing so sharply..
what i never realized before..was the depth of love i hold for u...tabhi itni jaldi bhul gae he's d special sm1 in my lyf..took thngs fr grantd..bt wen i knw wot my faults are n tryng to make thngs fyn y dun ny1 cooperate thoda sa...
thr are thosands of thngs i jus hate abt u now..the way u talk to me now...the way u neglect thngs now...n most--ur attitude...
but still i knw all this is temporary...cz insyd u feel vry alone..n d frustation boils up..
u know wen frst tym i saw u..thn us k baad bhi kafi baar miley...wot made me love u is nothng of ur outsyd appearence..i loved ur inner core..n still....no matter how much u get angry on me dat flame cant be diminished..
i loved ur innocence...d way u showed ur protectiveness towards me..respected ur possessiveness...ur decency...ur enthusiasm..ur purity whch i feel is diminishing thats y i had askd u to plz maintain it...
slowly while learing the true meaning of love ..read..heard..felt..its jus abt giving n giving without expecting....wot i ws doing... dats y i nvr complaint abt expectaions nt gttng fulfilled..i ws patient dat slowly we will learn abt responsibility with tym..seems u nvr needed love...u wantd to hold it tight...its d comfort compatibility n understndng u needed..needed sm1 who's exactly same as u...
...i felt i ws d one who cud fill in d gaps of ur life..wots nt in u is in me..n wots nt in me is in u...can't all dat be bonded n made as one...jus being a bit like soft clay..a bit humble... at least in d matter of relation if not in ur life or career.. .
..bt jb bhi i try to xplain u the thngs my way..the "conversation" turns out to b as "arguments"..
..i will wait fr u fr this lifetym...cz probably in nxt birth i will gt u..mayb thn the stars turn in my favour...
...u knw jb entirely ek dusre pe depend ho jatey hain toh dun knw in sm subconsious mind humein lagney lagta hai we both knw each othr very well ..bt aesa nai hota..with tym chnges hotey rehtey hain thinkng mein....n with tym we stop puttng in d effort jus feelng hum toh jantey hi hain iss bande ko..n frm thr relations gt sore...n i feel aesa hi kuch hua tha btwn us too...thats y samajh nai pa rhe the...par tab reasons dhundhne ki koshish nai kari dat aesa kyu hua...har problm ka solution hota hai..n d solution u found is jus so incredible....bas blame karte rhe har baat ka ek dusre pe...n d day came jb we went so far away...
teri purity..u urslf felt u r losing dat..dat ws smthng cz of whch i "praised" u...bt wen u knw u r losng toh u knw d reason too na..n u can keep it maintained too..its all in ur hand...2yrs mein itna chng thodi hota hai...n wen i think..it feels shayd cz of me all dat happened...it ws me whom u loved..n thn ur heart cudnt bear wen it didnt got d love in the way it expected....n made ur softest part so hard...n hidden frm the world..
i believe..that i can make that barren land colourful again.....bt its ur trust too dats needed...
..it hurts now to see u in such ways...teri batein.... :'(
.wo energy n enthusiasm chali jaeygi aese karega toh...i care for u...
.........I CAN....jus a lil belief u cant dewll on me..?..i promise u will nvr evr have a tear in ur eye or ny pain in ur heart....
..if nt me..trust smthng called love.
..if nt my mind..plz trust my heart... :'(
..is this love all about xpectations...koi kisi koi jaisa hai waisa kyu nai accept kar pata...why didnt nyone ever have taught anyone how to do the mind reading..i was no god who cud do it..long distance relations with assurance abt future..bt sab circumstances n situations dont let ny1 lead without suffocating the heart....it takes a lot of effort to maintain the bonding...but without patience how cud...
...arguments n debates...kisi ne sahi se politely baat karna nai sikhaya kya...why being so dominating always...it feels like evrythng is bleedng n cryng insyd wen we wer talkng..d wrds piercing so sharply..
what i never realized before..was the depth of love i hold for u...tabhi itni jaldi bhul gae he's d special sm1 in my lyf..took thngs fr grantd..bt wen i knw wot my faults are n tryng to make thngs fyn y dun ny1 cooperate thoda sa...
thr are thosands of thngs i jus hate abt u now..the way u talk to me now...the way u neglect thngs now...n most--ur attitude...
but still i knw all this is temporary...cz insyd u feel vry alone..n d frustation boils up..
u know wen frst tym i saw u..thn us k baad bhi kafi baar miley...wot made me love u is nothng of ur outsyd appearence..i loved ur inner core..n still....no matter how much u get angry on me dat flame cant be diminished..
i loved ur innocence...d way u showed ur protectiveness towards me..respected ur possessiveness...ur decency...ur enthusiasm..ur purity whch i feel is diminishing thats y i had askd u to plz maintain it...
slowly while learing the true meaning of love ..read..heard..felt..its jus abt giving n giving without expecting....wot i ws doing... dats y i nvr complaint abt expectaions nt gttng fulfilled..i ws patient dat slowly we will learn abt responsibility with tym..seems u nvr needed love...u wantd to hold it tight...its d comfort compatibility n understndng u needed..needed sm1 who's exactly same as u...
...i felt i ws d one who cud fill in d gaps of ur life..wots nt in u is in me..n wots nt in me is in u...can't all dat be bonded n made as one...jus being a bit like soft clay..a bit humble... at least in d matter of relation if not in ur life or career.. .
..bt jb bhi i try to xplain u the thngs my way..the "conversation" turns out to b as "arguments"..
..i will wait fr u fr this lifetym...cz probably in nxt birth i will gt u..mayb thn the stars turn in my favour...
...u knw jb entirely ek dusre pe depend ho jatey hain toh dun knw in sm subconsious mind humein lagney lagta hai we both knw each othr very well ..bt aesa nai hota..with tym chnges hotey rehtey hain thinkng mein....n with tym we stop puttng in d effort jus feelng hum toh jantey hi hain iss bande ko..n frm thr relations gt sore...n i feel aesa hi kuch hua tha btwn us too...thats y samajh nai pa rhe the...par tab reasons dhundhne ki koshish nai kari dat aesa kyu hua...har problm ka solution hota hai..n d solution u found is jus so incredible....bas blame karte rhe har baat ka ek dusre pe...n d day came jb we went so far away...
teri purity..u urslf felt u r losing dat..dat ws smthng cz of whch i "praised" u...bt wen u knw u r losng toh u knw d reason too na..n u can keep it maintained too..its all in ur hand...2yrs mein itna chng thodi hota hai...n wen i think..it feels shayd cz of me all dat happened...it ws me whom u loved..n thn ur heart cudnt bear wen it didnt got d love in the way it expected....n made ur softest part so hard...n hidden frm the world..
i believe..that i can make that barren land colourful again.....bt its ur trust too dats needed...
..it hurts now to see u in such ways...teri batein.... :'(
.wo energy n enthusiasm chali jaeygi aese karega toh...i care for u...
.........I CAN....jus a lil belief u cant dewll on me..?..i promise u will nvr evr have a tear in ur eye or ny pain in ur heart....
..if nt me..trust smthng called love.
..if nt my mind..plz trust my heart... :'(
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Eterno Dreams ... ♥
Every time i step out of my house..the path leads to follow the dreams..
With the memories we shared rebounds back...
Making me smile , Remembering those naughty deeds, those speed chasing fights...
With every Eterno that comes in view , I always try to feel its you..
But All the times the imaginations fail...
A miracle had happened just one day..the unexpectedly hurried chase towards destinations..u came into view under least of expectations...
Perplexed by the sudden rush of thoughts...
was it a dream going or a real plot...
The smile was hidden somewhere very deep inside which forgot to instantly appear out..
It was a shock ...an enthusiasm..or a mockery on me by my destiny at large...
My Eterno Dreams were blurring as the moments passed...
Unknown of the tears rolling out...
unknown of the smiley curve growing loud...
i loved n treasured those seconds that made me save the day for keeping in memories so far...
Refreshing the moments we had with "our buddy" in those tiny hours..
That first time holding hands sitting on its back..
adjustments of rear view mirror to see someone smiling far..
speedy rides togther..
cleaning of the windy tears...
clutchng u tightly from the back..
saving the moment for sparking the memory frames in the dark..
With evry Eterno I try to feel its you...
With evry Eterno I pray hard again for that miracle to come true....♥
{>saw him one day(31/8/09) while going to college..n he was going to see his dad at the hospital<}
15/09/09
I Love U...
Every time i step out of my house..the path leads to follow the dreams..
With the memories we shared rebounds back...
Making me smile , Remembering those naughty deeds, those speed chasing fights...
With every Eterno that comes in view , I always try to feel its you..
But All the times the imaginations fail...
A miracle had happened just one day..the unexpectedly hurried chase towards destinations..u came into view under least of expectations...
Perplexed by the sudden rush of thoughts...
was it a dream going or a real plot...
The smile was hidden somewhere very deep inside which forgot to instantly appear out..
It was a shock ...an enthusiasm..or a mockery on me by my destiny at large...
My Eterno Dreams were blurring as the moments passed...
Unknown of the tears rolling out...
unknown of the smiley curve growing loud...
i loved n treasured those seconds that made me save the day for keeping in memories so far...
Refreshing the moments we had with "our buddy" in those tiny hours..
That first time holding hands sitting on its back..
adjustments of rear view mirror to see someone smiling far..
speedy rides togther..
cleaning of the windy tears...
clutchng u tightly from the back..
saving the moment for sparking the memory frames in the dark..
With evry Eterno I try to feel its you...
With evry Eterno I pray hard again for that miracle to come true....♥
{>saw him one day(31/8/09) while going to college..n he was going to see his dad at the hospital<}
15/09/09
I Love U...
kuch yadoon k daaman nanhi hatheliyon mein sametey toh hain..
par darr lagta hai unse roo-ba-roo honey mein...
darr tha kabhi un yadoon ko bhool janey ka,
par ab ummeedoon ne bhi sath chod diya..
nam aankon se duniya dekhi hai..
har sahkhs mein uski parchae dhundhi hai..
par kab kisi ne ess ruh k andar jhankney ki koshish kari hai...
En nam gaaloon pe ab sirf hawa k jhonkey mehsus kiye hain...siskiyon k sath saanson k thamney ki khwaish ki hai...
Na shikayat thi koi..na shikayta hai koi..
wo sambhawnayen hi aesi thi koi..
es bebasi k kinare pe ek kashti ka intezaar hai..
jin rastoon pe muskura kar agey sath badna tha..ab akele ek ek kadam pe kadmon ko ladkhadatey dekha hai...
Darr lagta haiun nazdikiyon, rishton, vishwaas k bandhnoon se...
na janey kab kisi ki mansha badal jaye...na janey kab koi paraya ho jaye..
Un mann k darwazon ko yun band kiya hai, k berukhi ko apna naam diya hai...
Har ek muskurahat k baad kuch dwand sa saamney aata hai...
jo haq kho diya wo wapas kyun apna ehsaas dilata hai?
Un aansuon k sath bikhartey dhundhley sapnon mein ab bhi koi apna sa nazar aata hai...
14/9/2009
I Love U...
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Happy Birthday…
..to d gurl..who broke Me..my trust…
..on whom I pity d most cz of her “sad sob unexpected””exceptional””life”<<..as she herself defines it that ways..>>
..completely unknown to me….bt who had made such a drastic effect on my life…(n m as always trying being optimistic)…d gurl who had made me think..to an extent I cud nvr had believed I cud..who unknowingly taught me that world is all cold n cruel..may not be her “intentions”..bt her every “action” did things dat ways….
…d only gurl fr whom I jus always used to forgt all my possessiveness fr my love…whom I trusted as he did on me…bt haah..those bigg stones wer thrown on my trust…n terrible reasons provided thn….i cud hv easily made my heart believe that he’s nt in my destiny..he’s nt mine…IF ONLY its nt fr THIS gurl I wud hav been cheated on…whom I trusted as much as to him…
even smtimes my deep subconscious mind didn’t allowed to faith anyone…I did trusted against will..drowned in her tears…rather thn my own heart’s pain…..
..though her intentions wer clean as they wer presented...bt smwhr insyd I ws always insecure bt nvr let distrust of any kind surface…bt see hw true it ws…paying fr nt believing myslf...
D pain of losing him jus in front of my eyes evn wen I cud hv done smthng…
My simple love….
Only if I knew dat permanent is nothing…
Only if I wudnt b so innocent n thinking purly abt d frndshp’s btwn thm which ws turning into smthng else….haah..d “besti’s”…..blaming on my mentality..ohh..hw gr8 is urs thn nw..??..
how cud d life played so big tactics against me…
Wot the hell wrong I did wid this gurl dat I ws being left so severly broken deep insyd, frevr…
I wasn’t d gf of any of her bf…I wasn’t involved wid ny of her bf as she ws wid mine..wot if I had been in her place n did xactly wot she did to me..….i bet she’d nvr hav forgiven me…
A girl whose life I wonder…she says its full of exceptions…
….since her school time I nvr heard she havng any good female frnd….I nvr saw any gurl that ways evr…
thn making my best relation as her’s…..d gurl who once seemingly cursed me by sayng dat “she see’s her past in my future..”-n dat happened…dats wot she xactly DID…
D girl who didn’t even let his purity stay with him…which I promised him smday dat he shudn’t lose it at any cost…bt pomises are always broken..
…my rosy colored simple life made complicated by sm1 so unknown to me…
…bt thn too I thank her………….
Thank her -------------------------------
*…to make me knw dat trust is easily broken…actually meant to be if its purely blind..…
*…to make me THINK……..severly….till all nerves of d brain begins to ache terribly..
*To make me realize that memories cant b lost..
*To make me understand the reality of distances …
*To make me see the real weaknesses hidden in me…
*….to make me explore the real me…n my horizons…
*…dat I really CAN smtym n learning to do smthng impossibly tough --to forgive n forget.…
*…dat most of the times..though how much severely hurt by sm1 I still cannot see the negatives…
*…dat now I realize that love’s d oxygen for me..though m unconscious abt its presence bt I constantly need it once m out in d world…(being on life saving ventilator now…)
*..dat I don’t hide behind reasons..ever…wots truth m comfortable in showing dat…n fr me no amount of reasoning n analysis cud chng d truth..!!
****..dat I learnt , for me love is not about fulfilling EXPECTATIONS..its about discovering n knowing each other bttr wid tym..being more of an observant....though xpectations comes..bt in my case I try to keep thm invisible..its about giving…..n asking not demanding..…
…giving d simplest thng…(n hey..nt d gifts n all dat stuff)..invisible abundance care,support…n everything personalized… n also m nt of d view of encroaching the personal space n freedom in one’s life …Its nt abt being wid d feel of “being around wid him 24*7”..bt most importantly wen needed…n feel dat silence is purest in between wen its filled wid nothng else bt love….distances do increase love..bt only if cellphones let dat happen.. fr dat I hate owing a phone… :x
*..dat I hav discovered that one shud strive to b perfectly dual(practical n
emotional)..at a same time…!!...rare trait to possess though… B-)
* I learnt dat addictions make me uncomfortable…
.*.dat no matter how much anger boils in me..i CAN present myself calm in front of d world…I learnt to act..n hide..!! ..n to let d anger go off my mind n soul…n let the thngs flow wid situations..
*…dat before him I was alone…thn once I thought its “destiny”…thn I ws “scared” being alone……..thn loved to b lost in d crowd wen my tears roll out…nw feel its really d destiny wot makes me complete in my own company….solitude is smthng I SHOULD love nw…big paradoxes playng around me..!!
*lastly to make me realize how much I love my love………n will always n always n always do….n more thn any1 cud ever…….
Charity pay’s for ur soul..…n this is wot I did…letting my life go free...mayb she need sm love more thn me…cz I dun want her to cry fr him…cz I knw n learning too to spread smiles……….
--------------------Ab agar tum mile toh..itna yakeen hai…hans dengey hum toh..rona nahin hai…..
.............................Before u met me, u were sad, i was happy, then i gave u my smile , and took away ur sadness,
and now i m going away forever, will take ur sadness and hide it in some part of my life and u will never feel that the smile up there is not yours.. its MINE..
..to d gurl..who broke Me..my trust…
..on whom I pity d most cz of her “sad sob unexpected””exceptional””life”<<..as she herself defines it that ways..>>
..completely unknown to me….bt who had made such a drastic effect on my life…(n m as always trying being optimistic)…d gurl who had made me think..to an extent I cud nvr had believed I cud..who unknowingly taught me that world is all cold n cruel..may not be her “intentions”..bt her every “action” did things dat ways….
…d only gurl fr whom I jus always used to forgt all my possessiveness fr my love…whom I trusted as he did on me…bt haah..those bigg stones wer thrown on my trust…n terrible reasons provided thn….i cud hv easily made my heart believe that he’s nt in my destiny..he’s nt mine…IF ONLY its nt fr THIS gurl I wud hav been cheated on…whom I trusted as much as to him…
even smtimes my deep subconscious mind didn’t allowed to faith anyone…I did trusted against will..drowned in her tears…rather thn my own heart’s pain…..
..though her intentions wer clean as they wer presented...bt smwhr insyd I ws always insecure bt nvr let distrust of any kind surface…bt see hw true it ws…paying fr nt believing myslf...
D pain of losing him jus in front of my eyes evn wen I cud hv done smthng…
My simple love….
Only if I knew dat permanent is nothing…
Only if I wudnt b so innocent n thinking purly abt d frndshp’s btwn thm which ws turning into smthng else….haah..d “besti’s”…..blaming on my mentality..ohh..hw gr8 is urs thn nw..??..
how cud d life played so big tactics against me…
Wot the hell wrong I did wid this gurl dat I ws being left so severly broken deep insyd, frevr…
I wasn’t d gf of any of her bf…I wasn’t involved wid ny of her bf as she ws wid mine..wot if I had been in her place n did xactly wot she did to me..….i bet she’d nvr hav forgiven me…
A girl whose life I wonder…she says its full of exceptions…
….since her school time I nvr heard she havng any good female frnd….I nvr saw any gurl that ways evr…
thn making my best relation as her’s…..d gurl who once seemingly cursed me by sayng dat “she see’s her past in my future..”-n dat happened…dats wot she xactly DID…
D girl who didn’t even let his purity stay with him…which I promised him smday dat he shudn’t lose it at any cost…bt pomises are always broken..
…my rosy colored simple life made complicated by sm1 so unknown to me…
…bt thn too I thank her………….
Thank her -------------------------------
*…to make me knw dat trust is easily broken…actually meant to be if its purely blind..…
*…to make me THINK……..severly….till all nerves of d brain begins to ache terribly..
*To make me realize that memories cant b lost..
*To make me understand the reality of distances …
*To make me see the real weaknesses hidden in me…
*….to make me explore the real me…n my horizons…
*…dat I really CAN smtym n learning to do smthng impossibly tough --to forgive n forget.…
*…dat most of the times..though how much severely hurt by sm1 I still cannot see the negatives…
*…dat now I realize that love’s d oxygen for me..though m unconscious abt its presence bt I constantly need it once m out in d world…(being on life saving ventilator now…)
*..dat I don’t hide behind reasons..ever…wots truth m comfortable in showing dat…n fr me no amount of reasoning n analysis cud chng d truth..!!
****..dat I learnt , for me love is not about fulfilling EXPECTATIONS..its about discovering n knowing each other bttr wid tym..being more of an observant....though xpectations comes..bt in my case I try to keep thm invisible..its about giving…..n asking not demanding..…
…giving d simplest thng…(n hey..nt d gifts n all dat stuff)..invisible abundance care,support…n everything personalized… n also m nt of d view of encroaching the personal space n freedom in one’s life …Its nt abt being wid d feel of “being around wid him 24*7”..bt most importantly wen needed…n feel dat silence is purest in between wen its filled wid nothng else bt love….distances do increase love..bt only if cellphones let dat happen.. fr dat I hate owing a phone… :x
*..dat I hav discovered that one shud strive to b perfectly dual(practical n
emotional)..at a same time…!!...rare trait to possess though… B-)
* I learnt dat addictions make me uncomfortable…
.*.dat no matter how much anger boils in me..i CAN present myself calm in front of d world…I learnt to act..n hide..!! ..n to let d anger go off my mind n soul…n let the thngs flow wid situations..
*…dat before him I was alone…thn once I thought its “destiny”…thn I ws “scared” being alone……..thn loved to b lost in d crowd wen my tears roll out…nw feel its really d destiny wot makes me complete in my own company….solitude is smthng I SHOULD love nw…big paradoxes playng around me..!!
*lastly to make me realize how much I love my love………n will always n always n always do….n more thn any1 cud ever…….
Charity pay’s for ur soul..…n this is wot I did…letting my life go free...mayb she need sm love more thn me…cz I dun want her to cry fr him…cz I knw n learning too to spread smiles……….
--------------------Ab agar tum mile toh..itna yakeen hai…hans dengey hum toh..rona nahin hai…..
.............................Before u met me, u were sad, i was happy, then i gave u my smile , and took away ur sadness,
and now i m going away forever, will take ur sadness and hide it in some part of my life and u will never feel that the smile up there is not yours.. its MINE..
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